Posts filed under ‘childbirth’

Buddha Blessing

Henry James was born via emergency C-section on April 10, 2012. He has been such a blessing to my life. Recently I took him to participate in a baby/child blessing ceremony at the Rime Buddhist Center. It was lovely listening to the sangha sing OM MANI PADME HUM as the children were blessed.

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The lama told the children:

You have come with stardust in your hair,
with the rush of planets in your blood,
your hearts beating out the seasons of eternity,
with a shining in your eyes like the sunlight.

June 4, 2012 at 11:10 pm 2 comments

Energy Work, Brain Cleansing and My True Self

Lately with all the crazy energies flying around, I have been forced to deal with old hurts and fears I hadn’t fully acknowledged or released. I also had my priorities re-aligned and am feeling fully in touch with my soul’s purpose.

My friend Darcy who is working to become an energy practioner (click here for details on having her work with you) gave me an hour long session on Friday night. I had some major AHA! moments in between feeling sleepy and contented. She had an amazing OM chant going on in the background and I immediately felt relaxed and in a receptive state. I meditated on Gaia for a while as different feelings and thoughts emerged and left.

I finally started meditating on my future daughter, who has come to me in many visions and to whom I can communicate very easily on a soul level as we prepare for her entrance into Earth. She showed me that I was afraid of her abandoning me because I have had two miscarriages and that I was not trusting her and the Universe as I needed to, being ashamed to be honest with others about how real and alive she is to me. She told me that she has already agreed to be with me as my daughter and that I should trust in this. She showed me herself as a brilliant star, as a baby, a teen, and an old woman, before fading back into a baby. I felt her weight on my chest with her head on my shoulder and I wanted to cry from the joy and peace I felt. She even showed me a vision of me decorating her nursery for her to help me believe fully in her future entrance into my life (which will change everything for me!)

I also forgave myself and my mother for the mistakes we made in our relationship with each other, and had some more realizations about the spiritual aspect of my childhood imaginings and their effect on my life.

The next day, I had my regular meditation session with friends although only one was able to come. We had a very good session that was powerful for the both of us. I received some very strong images and good wisdom, though my head felt as if it had been peeled back to expose my brain to the world. The feeling led me to draw this:Meditation

Our meditation led us to merge fully with our Souls, to really SEE it. My hair and eyes and skin grew brighter and my entire body became more elfin in the mediation. This also helped me become more attuned to my soul name & titles: Fire Flower, Truth-Bringer, Lady of the Flame and Shadow, Goddess-Warrior of ALL-THAT-IS, which I feel now is a proper definition of myself instead of something I have to live up to. We connected with the Christ grid that is both surrounding and within the Earth, which activated my third chakra very strongly. It was exhausting and exhilarating.

Sunday I spent going through the rest of Brain Respiration by Ilchi Lee. Once again, I did a meditation where I looked at my brain and cleansed it in a stream of energy. This time it was pink where the new shiny bits have started healing the scummy rotten bits I had to cleanse a few weeks ago. And when I shook out the “dark energy” it was like a sprinkling of pepper instead of the stream of blackness that flowed from it last time.

One of the last exercises was to meditate in order to see your soul’s vision play out. I did this and saw myself dancing around the Earth planting roses and bearing fruit for others out of the tree growing out of my head (an image I’ll probably draw soon). I saw myself giving birth to Clarissa (my daughter) as if in a womb myself, painless and joyful. When Clarissa joined me on the Earth, still connected to me by the red embellical cord, she and I started dancing in a new pattern (one she taught me) and in this new pattern all the other people on the planet started dancing with us until we were all vibrating at such a rate that we were shimmering and on the same level as our star families who embraced us with open arms.

It was the perfect accumulation of all the work I’ve been doing: to see this vision and to know I can trust the Universe to bring it to pass without my having to force anything. I can simply allow and be my True Self and watch the future unroll beautifully.

I am so blessed.

September 21, 2009 at 7:06 pm 2 comments

Overcoming Obstacles

The long-term goal in my life has been to have a baby with my partner for close to two years now. For that to happen, I need to 1) pay off a significant amount of debt from school/credit cards and 2) get a divorce so I can marry my soulmate. I was getting so frustrated last month looking over what had happened the last year and feeling as if I hadn’t moved forward on the short term goals blocking me from the long-term baby-making goal.

But the Universe and my Guides must have been busy in the background, because stuff is starting to happen now!

I’d been trying to get a part time job for many many months in order to pay off my debts more quickly than I can do with the one job. Despite applying to many places, none ever contacted me until I got a call from the McDonalds one block away from the new apartment. A few weeks later now, I’m working there part time, working to get to know the system and loving the challenge to treat each person I interact with there as I would a god/goddess. It’s tiring and a bit stressful but it will be so worth the payoff… just as long as I can keep focused enough to not waste the money!

Divorce-wise, I haven’t been able to just hire a lawyer to fill out the no contest divorce forms for me, and my own research online and in book form both led me to a brick wall in my efforts. I was working with a coworker to try and get things moving, but even that was headed no where. But when I was on the phone with my Uncle telling him about my new PT  job, he asked why I had gotten it. After I told him I wanted a divorce and to pay off debt, he offered to help with the divorce since he had a ton of experience in legal terms, procedures and the like, which I only recently discovered. He has also been through the divorce process himself twice so I have high hopes that this latest attempt will have me divorced by the end of the year at the latest!

I asked my Guides for advice on Sunday night and they exhorted me to enjoy myself, care for myself, believe in myself and to realize there are no limits to what I can do. Overcoming obstacles is a major theme in my spiritual path right now and I have converted a little book I have with Ganesha, god of overcoming difficulties, that has been sitting around on my altar off and on for a while into my overcoming obstacles handbook.

It contains words, phrases and symbols of power all to help me claim my personal power or to overcome difficulties.

I’ve been chanting: Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare (just found it in an old Yoga magazine we had lying around the house) this week as well as this helps to clear difficulties, and it’s been a great source of comfort for me since I haven’t had enough time to meditate as I would like in the mornings now that I’m working two jobs.

I have high hopes to see my dreams becoming reality and I can’t wait to see what happens.

June 3, 2009 at 5:35 pm 1 comment

Reclaiming Birth Power Collectively

The last in a series of posts from Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D., Chapter 12: ‘Pregnancy and Birthing.’

Reclaiming Birth Power Collectively
“Imagine what might happen if the majority of women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of the strength and power of their bodies, and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth.  When enough women realize that birth is a time of great opportunity to get in touch with their true power, and when they are willing to assume responsibility for this, we will reclaim the power of birth and help move technology where it belongs – in the service of birthing women, not as their master.


“For many women, having a baby is their first experience of being connected with other women and with their vast creativity.  It has the potential to transform the ways in which we think about ourselves.  As one patient said to me, ‘I felt at one with every woman who ever gave birth.  I felt powerful and in touch with something within me that I never knew was there.  I took my place among the lineage of women as mothers.'”

Related posts:
Turning Labor into Personal Power
Birth and Female Sexuality
Rebecca’s Story: Reclaiming Birth Power
Amanda’s Story: A Home Birth

December 14, 2007 at 6:19 pm 7 comments

Rebecca’s Story: Reclaiming Birth Power

From Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D., Chapter 12: ‘Pregnancy and Birthing:’

Rebecca’s Story: Reclaiming Birth Power
“The following story is related in the words of Bethany Hays, Rebecca’s obstetrician.

“‘Rebecca was a second-time mother whose first labor had been long, but she did well with the help of her labor support person and a gentle loving husband.  Rebecca arrived at the hospital for her second birth already seven centimeters dilated and feeling great.  She walked and talked with her team of supportive people, and she sipped fluids.  She tolerated our medical intrusions into her birth with monitor, blood pressure cuff, and thermometer.
“‘After several hours, Rebecca was still only seven to eight centimeters dilated.  She was puzzled and frustrated, wanting to ‘get on with it.’  We discussed her options, including rupture of the membranes, which might bring the baby’s head down against the cervix.  The cervix felt ready and soft enough to allow the passage of the head, waiting for some unknown work yet to be done.

“‘After considering the possible negative effects of it, she chose to rupture the membranes.  This was done.  Now the contractions got harder, but after some time the exam showed that she was not quiet fully dilated.  The head was still high up in the pelvis.  She showed some urge to push when squatting, but she was not pushing effectively.  Her monitrice [professional labor support person] reminded me that during the first labor, she had also had difficulty pushing – requiring three hours in the second stage and pressure applied to the posterior vaginal wall to encourage her to push.
“‘Maybe that would help again someone suggested.  So as Rebecca squatted, I knelt on the floor, placed two fingers in her vagina, and pushed firmly on the posterior wall.  Her response was an immediate and reflexive withdrawal.  I realized that not only was I causing her pain, but I was triggering some much more serious emotional response.  My own reaction was equally strong. ‘No,’ I thought, ‘I will not participate in this abuse.  This is sexual abuse of another woman’s body, and I will not do it.’
“”Rebecca, I said, ‘let’s try something else.  Now I have always been touched at the faith (often undeserved) that patients place in me, and I knew that she trusted me.  Whatever the new plan was, she would try it.  The joke was that I had no plan.  I was flying totally by the seat of my pants.  I asked her to get comfortable, and she arranged herself semi-reclining on the bed, with her husband behind her.  ‘Now,’ I said, ‘I just want you to relax and listen to my voice.  First, go down inside yourself and find your baby where he is in your body.  When you are with him, tell him he is okay, in case he is scared.’
“‘As we waited, a slow smile came over her face, and I knew that she was with her baby.  The fetal monitor no longer disturbed her.  IT now showed sudden resolution of the small to moderate variable decelerations she’d been having with contractions. [Variable decelerations are heart rate patterns associated with compression of the umbilical cord, which can sometimes produce stress in the baby.]
“‘Now,’ I said, ‘I want you just to listen.  Many of us women have not owned all the parts of our bodies.  We have not allowed ourselves to feel our vaginas and our perineums.  They have seemed separate and are not within our control  They have negative connotations: pornographic or dirty.  In many was these parts of our bodies are problematic for us.  But the truth is that they are ours.  They belong to us like our hands and our lips and our minds.  This part of your body is yours, and you can reclaim it.  Right now.  Take it back as the sensual, enjoyable part of you that it really is.  Since it is yours, you are totally in control.  You can allow your baby to move through this part of you as fast or as slowly as you like.  It does not have to hurt you, but you will feel very strong signals from this part of your body that your are not used to feeling.  Allow those feelings and celebrate them as the return of a long-lost friend.’
“‘Now we were all watching.  Rebecca was totally relaxed, lying in her husband’s arms.  The room was quiet except for the fetal monitor which was quietly attesting to the continued well-being of the baby.  I was wondering if  I was deluding myself-pretty sure that everyone in the room must think I was nuts.
“Suddenly I realized that with each contraction, Rebeca’s perineum was bulging – the head was coming down.  It was working.  Occasionally, Rebecca lost contact with her body, became frightened, and clutched her husband.  Immediately when this happened, the baby’s heart rate pattern showed prolonged variable decelerations with slow recovery.  At these points, I would say again, ‘Talk to your baby, Rebecca.  He’s scared.  Remember, don’t go any faster than you want to.  This is your body.  All of it belongs to you.’
“‘Once again, Rebecca was quiet, and we saw the baby’s head begin to crown  Soon, with little or no pushing effort, the baby was born into his mother’s loving arms.’
“After hearing this story, I realized that the second stage of my own second labo might have been different if I’d had a doctor like Bethany hays.  I also realized that I have been involved in the unwitting physical abuse of many laboring women by pushing down on their vaginas to try to help them push, and by encouraging them, like a football coach, to ‘push him out.’  I wouldn’t have done that if I had known what I now know.”

Related posts:
Turning Labor into Personal Power
Birth and Female Sexuality

December 12, 2007 at 4:48 pm Leave a comment


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