Archive for November, 2008

Harmonizing with Electronics

I love technology in general, but tend not to get too excited about it specifically (except for power tools).  I’ve been intrigued by people who feel connected to electronic gizmos the way I do about plants, but it’s not something I’ve really accessed.

But lately since I’ve been learning bits and pieces more about numerology and read about how even digital clock readouts can be sending messages to us, I’ve been paying more attention.  For instance, for the past month or so I’ve noticed that nearly everytime I felt strangely compelled to look at a digital clock, the time was almost always something like 10:10 or 11:11.  It was intrigued and it felt like a message, but I had to wait and let it sit with me for a few weeks before I understood what the message was.  Simply put, the clocks were telling me that everything is in balance in my life and the Universe at large and to take comfort in that.

It seems so strange and sweet that clocks are taking the time (ha ha) to communicate this message to me.  I love it and was surprised to find that another electronic, my cell phone, is also now, apparently, working to  care for and comfort me.

I was on the phone last night when I received another call that my phone simply would not let me switch over to answer.  At the time I was very frustrated, thinking that it might be from someone I had just seen who had talked about coming over to hang out, but I didn’t want to end my other conversation so I just stayed on and waited for the unknown caller to leave a message.

After ending my conversation, I called the voicemail and discovered that the mysterious caller was a man I had met about a week and a half ago now at a public event.  He had invited myself and 2 other friends of mine to his place afterwards and we had a fine time except that he seemed way too interested in me, especially since I kept talking about my boyfriend and how much I love him, etc. etc.

The next day, thinking it over I had really bad feeling in my gut that told me not to trust him.  He had my email because we had planned before that to have him teach me a meditation in exchange for an artwork I gave him and he had emailed me twice the next day, trying to get me to come over to his place ASAP and sending me a very inappropriate poem about “pagan sexuality” that was all about the “fire in his loins” and other really creepy shit.

I blew him off, saying I was too busy and assumed I’d keep doing it but then he sent me yet another, even longer, more disgusting poem about “spiritual sexuality” that was simply an attempt to coerce me to have sex with him.  By the way, I should mention that he is very like several other men I have known who use their spiritual powers for evil (i.e. to take advantage of other empathic, sensitive people) and I refuse to let people like that use me anymore.  I blocked his email then without a reply.

The next day he found me on MySpace so I blocked him there as well and sent a note to my friend who ran the event I met him at, telling her about how creepy and predatory he is.  Turns out he’d sent the first poem to her other friend and then had abandoned trying to get into her pants once she stopped responding to him.  I assumed and hoped he’d do the same for me, until I heard that voicemail and I completely freaked out.

He did not and should not have my phone number and I don’t know where or how he got a hold of it, but I am so glad that my phone refused to let me answer.  As horrifying and terrifying as it was to simply hear part of the voicemail, I can’t imagine how much more shaken up I would feel if I actually talked to him.

So it’s lovely to have even the electronics in my life vibrating on a positive level with me.  I’m glad I have such support.

November 24, 2008 at 6:31 pm 4 comments

Love Finds You Even When You’ve Given It Up

Say what you will,
Love finds you even when,
You’ve given it up

One after another
You’ve seen love affairs turn
From the glorious start
To the crash and burn
But Now that you’ve promised never again
It’s exactly when you’ll fall in

-The Submarines, “Submarine Symphonica”

I posted before about my lovelife and how I decided to give up on having a relationship with a woman.  In my heart I knew it wouldn’t be forever, but I knew it was a decision I had to make so I wouldn’t be throwing away my energy after looking for someone when I shouldn’t be.

I’m happy to announce that the Universe indeed had plans for me where that is concerned.  I recently went to visit the only woman I ever felt truly intimate and comfortable with.  She lives several states away and we hadn’t seen each other for 3 years.

Coming together with her again was incredible.  We connected even more deeply that we had before and it was so comforting to me to be around another woman and feel as deeply relaxed as I want to, but normally don’t.  Our intimacy and obvious mutual adoration is also fuel for my fire and it made a significant difference in my energy and power level.

Since then, we’ve been talking daily on the phone, sometimes two or three times.  It overjoys me to have a female precense in my life that I can be that involved with without them finding it stifling.  I have always wanted to be intimate with a woman who was willing to be involved in all aspects of my life, finding even the boring things interesting because of how they affect me, listening to stuff I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling anyone else.

The natural progression of our feelings and desires have led us to being each other’s girlfriends, with the overwhelming and enthusiastic support of both of our signficant others.  It is an amazing connection that I thought I had lost and to have it suddenly back as a force for wonder and love in my life is almost overwhelming.  I am so grateful to have this beautiful woman in my life, even from far away.

November 20, 2008 at 6:11 pm 4 comments

Symbolism

On my last vision quest I was impressed with the importance of being able to move symbols from the collective unconscious and my dreams into the “real world.”  That has led me to creating a whole mess of drawings celebrating life and using/reinterpretating ancient symbols as I see them.  It’s been so exciting to watch a flood of creativity burst out of me with the knowledge that I am supposed to be doing this.  It helps me inbue the drawings I make with my power and excitement and I think that makes a big difference.  Here are some of my favorites:

If you’re interested in seeing more, you can find them at my DeviantArt page.

November 17, 2008 at 7:19 pm 2 comments


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