Archive for October, 2008

Vision Quest

For the second time, my partner Matt and I went on our version of vision questing together.  It’s the most powerful experience I’ve had in my life so far and I brought so much back from it.

I understood more rightly my place in the Universe as a symbol-bearer, light-bringer and spirit warrior.

I met with ancestor spirits and received their wisdom about our human development and evolution and place in the world.

I more deeply connected with Matt and became even more convinced and aware of our powerful soul connection that has led me to choose him as my mate over and over again through each lifetime.

It was absolutely amazing.

I’ve noticed since that I am much more confident and powerful.  My angels have become part of my higher self now and I can see my spirit towering over my body with big beautiful wings everywhere I go.  (I also saw the same spirit shape in a like-minded neighbor and was amazing to see our higher selves bow to each other long before he and I actually acknowledged each other).  The symbols, runes and much more that I’ve been studying lately I now see manifesting within me as if my body were the treasure chest and they are the precious stones I am carrying inside to touch and feel and connected with on an energetic level whenever I may need.

I feel so blessed to have my gifts and so much more aware of how I can use them to help my community.  I feel I’m living a truly charmed, magical life.

October 23, 2008 at 5:31 pm 2 comments

Cats and Changes

Frederick, Pinky and Inky

Frederick, Pinky and Inky

Lately Frederick has been coming in the mornings and dreaming with me.  We’ve been tigers in Africa, we’ve been ourselves exploring the collective unconscious, and we’ve just had conversations about our lives, past and present and where our souls are journeying.  It’s been pretty fantastic.  I’ve never been this close to an animal before and I’m astounded every morning when he comes barreling in all purry to sleep on my head that I have such sweet, constant support.

Frederick has also been happy because there is a new kitten in our lives that has kept his little brother, Pinky from trying to play with him all day every day (minus the 80% sleeping, of course).  Inky is our new little girl that our future little girl called into our lives to raise for her.

Let me go back a bit.  I’ve been reading books about Primal Mothering and each one talks about how to commune with the soul of your baby pre-conception.  Since Matt has already met our daughter, I was eager to do the same and kept calling out to her.   She finally appeared to me in a dream and as we commune both as I’m awake and asleep, she keeps telling me more that gets me more and more excited to meet her!

I can see in her all of the frustrations and thwarted desires of both my family and Matt’s being answered in our daughters life.  Which is probably why she chose her name from a character in my head who “explains it all” – Clarissa.  I already know she’s going to be a lesbian and work in the “green” design and reconstruction of historic buildings.  She’s not going to go to college, opting instead for hands-on learning and she’ll be able to take advantage of all the green job opportunities that will exist in the future.  She’s incredibly wise and gentle and it fills me with delight to know I’ll be able to help her walk her path through life.

So when my friend Sara called me and told about the tiny little kitten that needed a home (and that I could hear meowing in the background), Matt and I knew that this was Clarissa’s kitten.  She wants us to train it for her since little babies and little kitties generally don’t get along.  Inky is the most adorable kitten I’ve ever met and knowing that she’s Clarissa’s pick (and that it had to come all the way from another city to get here) just makes me proud of my little future daughter’s tenacity, will power and strength of self-knowledge.

Having her in my heart and soul has been amazingly empowering.  Instead of worrying that people will judge me for doing something for myself, like I sometimes had a problem with doing, I now just know that I have to do what I have to do to get myself ready to be a soul portal for this beautiful person.  And I’m going to do whatever is necessary to do my part in the world to make it ready for her as well.  I feel so strong and loved, I can’t believe I was so afraid of motherhood for such a long time.  I couldn’t feel more different.

October 21, 2008 at 4:05 pm 3 comments

Living in Flow

As I‘ve been working the past several weeks to open and live through my heart chakra, rather than my ego, I’ve noticed a beautiful blossoming of love for myself and for every other person and creature and plant.  My heart has opened to the idea of fairies, thanks in part to encountering angels, and other benficial energetic beings that I was closed to before.  My love for my family has overwhelmed any of the bad feelings normally caused when I think of them and instead my love and desire for their happiness and joy has let me finally feel at peace about my relationships with them.  I can finally accept that they won’t change because I’ve accepted that I will always love them anyway.

I have also become amazingly aware of the god/goddess in everyone, which has also been a help in approaching people with love instead of judgement.  It’s amazing how free and easy I feel. It’s as if I was trying to make myself responsible for other people before instead of just spending my energy on myself.  Now that I’m focused on simply being me, walking my path, and performing my part in the experience of life as I know only I can, everything is coming to me with ease and joy.  I’m no longer putting excruciating effort into the simplest things.  I can finally let go and let it be and be joyful in experiencing just being.

It has been a beautiful gift that has increased my gratitude towards other light and energy beings and my fellow travelers in this world.  I have felt so in the flow instead of fighting against the current and it’s amazing how far you can go when you simply relax and let it take you!

Thank you to all of you who have shared your experiences with me and let them help me finally have the courage to be myself and live in love.  I am deeply grateful for your investment in my life.

October 9, 2008 at 3:16 pm 1 comment

Giving Thanks

I’ve been working to attract positivity, companionship and certain more material things into my life and I was so grateful to have that responded to this weekend.  I was able to connect with strangers, re-connect with my little brother (and find out that he’s been looking into the same spiritual issues as I have on his own) and gain some living room furniture finally (we’ve been in our place one year now and it looked very empty).

I just wanted to share my gratefulness.

I promise I will post a “real” post soon.

October 6, 2008 at 7:16 pm 1 comment


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