Healing Time

March 12, 2008 at 3:35 pm Leave a comment

The past two months have been exhausting, both psychologically and spiritually as I’ve been processing and healing. Old hurts and recent hurts alike have come to the surface and I had to sit around in the pain and often immense amounts of shame, knowing that all I could do is let myself feel it. It seemed for a while that it would never pass, that I would be steeped in the negative emotions inspired by bad relationships whether or not I wanted to.

But, as it always does, the pain passed once I was done feeling it. I could feel the vaccuum left by its absence for a while. And suddenly new and wonderful gifts have flooded my life: new pet, new friends, more people in my apartment (which I absolutely love). Even at work I feel like my influx of new good things has positively affected the difficult and stressful campaign I and my coworkers are trying to organize. For instance, we haven’t been able to agree on a name for months, and suddenly we all came to agreement about the name and the language of the campaign and now other aspects we’ve been struggling with for months are also reaching completion.

This is the first time in my life I’ve felt safe enough to thoroughly process the problems and hurts from my past. That is almost completely due to my boyfriend who has been so accepting of me that I can’t not love myself, which is something I have a hard time doing. I’m so grateful for him and for the positivity flooding my life. I feel like I’m finally sitting in the place of joy that I’ve been struggling towards my whole life. And I also feel in touch with my true self like I haven’t been since puberty hit and shook the foundations of how I viewed myself.

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Entry filed under: love, spiritual. Tags: .

Dream Fasting/Fighting Being Female

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