December 19, 2007 at 9:34 pm 2 comments

A few nights ago I was half awake when I had a dream: I was being chased around what might have been a submarine by something that I couldn’t see.  The fear I felt is the fear I associate with being around my parents.  In my dream I didn’t have any means of protecting myself against this imminent threat except throwing pieces of paper with the word “no” written on them, and hoping that would make them go away.  But then I stopped running, turned around and saw nothing but the pieces of paper behind me.

I knew then that it was a symbol that I wasn’t going to let my parents get to me like they’ve been able to my whole life.  The litmus test was getting 3 emails from my mother early this week, which normally would have sent me into an emotional tailspin.  Instead, I had absolutely no emotional reaction.  This is a major personal miracle.


Entry filed under: dreams, family. Tags: , , .

Awakening the Dreamer Symposium coming to Kansas City Personal Mythology

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. joyfulseeker  |  December 20, 2007 at 7:17 am

    I have had my own issues with parents, especially my mother who was very emotionally abusive. So, I sympathize with how a seemingly simple email from your Mom could put you in a tailspin. How wonderful that this time it didn’t!

    I found the image of throwing papers with “no” written on them quite intriguing. My first thought is about the power of words, both spoken and written. Then I thought about blogging and wondered if your writing in this format may be part of your strength in finding release from your difficult emotional history with your parents. Despite the fact that throwing paper at an enemy seems a flimsy defense, in this case I think that each of those papers in your dream was a powerful statement of intent.

    Thanks for sharing!

  • 2. mayinthesouth  |  December 20, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    I think part of the paper imagery makes more sense when you understand that as a kid I was basically mute most of the time. I started writing mostly because I didn’t feel safe enough expressing myself any other way. Happily, that’s not the case any more ^__^


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