Archive for December, 2007

Survivor Needs Meme

Thanks to Romancing the Crone, I found out about this “Survivor Needs” Meme from Survivors Can Thrive!

Rules of the “Survivor Needs” Meme:

  • Please link back to this post so people can see the origins of the meme, get ideas for their own self-care list, see who’s already been tagged, and maybe we can track how far this meme goes.
  • List 25 needs and five wants. Try to restrict your needs list to things that have to do with being a survivor of some sort of abuse, assault, etc. Your wants list can be anything…you want!
  • Use this list to remind yourself to get your needs met this holiday season and in the New Year.
  • Pass on the meme and tag five people to play the meme with you.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I invite anyone who’d like to do this to go right ahead.

I need…

  1. Respect for my inherent worth
  2. Sensual excitement
  3. Cuddling & other communicative touching
  4. Passion for my job
  5. Sympathetic friends
  6. Beauty
  7. Emotional release
  8. Orgasms, general sexual pleasure
  9. General sensual pleasure (from eating good food, listening to good music, etc.)
  10. To have supportive, trusting relationships
  11. To be part of a supportive community
  12. To laugh & have a sense of humor
  13. To give advice
  14. To be given advice
  15. To listen to/read the experiences of others and learn from them
  16. To have strong women to look up to
  17. To express myself without censorship but with wisdom
  18. To be intimate with a woman
  19. To workout, stretch and generally keep my body in shape
  20. To eat well and joyfully
  21. To honor the Earth
  22. To honor the Divine
  23. To be taken seriously
  24. To be taken with a grain of salt
  25. To be admired

I want…

  1. To travel internationally
  2. To learn French
  3. To practice on my bass more often
  4. To learn how to cast Runes
  5. To learn Palmistry

December 31, 2007 at 7:55 pm 3 comments

New Year’s Tarot Reading from

Your Question: what do I need to know in order to create community this year?

Your Interpretations
Self: Queen of Hearts


You are called upon to be a loving master of emotional integrity.

The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

The Queen of Cups is the archetype of loving kindness, someone imbued with a strong concern for the well being of others. This is a good thing to develop and practice. At the same time, make sure you don’t get carried away and lose track of what is healthy and sensible for yourself. Like a mother, the Queen of Cups is accepting and nurturing, with a natural capacity for bonding.

The vulnerability of openness and empathy are important qualities sorely lacking in today’s world. Learn to develop these capacities in yourself, but avoid codependency. Love is ultimately about dissolving boundaries, but not at your personal expense. Feelings of emptiness will do you no good. Know your boundaries and make sure you are not being taken advantage of or relied upon too heavily. Express loving kindness, but don’t let an intense concern for the welfare of others compromise your own well being.

Situation: Ace of Swords


Your unique comprehension of the situation can help clear up confusion that could otherwise jeopardize progress.

The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time.

With the Ace of Swords in this position, circumstances indicate that the path to your destination twists and turns in a bewildering way. Your insight, however, can penetrate and make sense of the confusion.

You possess an outlook or vision that can harmonize with whatever competing interests and needs present themselves. Ultimately, it is up to you to reveal the big picture, point out the middle path, and reconcile the polarities. You are aware of what the next step is. Continue to focus on it solely without letting yourself or others be distracted.

Challenges/ Opportunities: Prince of Hearts


Your hard-won wisdom can help protect others from their inexperience or foolishness. Be generous with it.

The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

With the Knight of Cups (in some decks, a Prince) in this position, distill the essence of what you have learned on your journey, in order to let your wisdom inform the dreams and aspirations of others. Not everyone is able to go through the kind of awesome transformations you have.

But you can wring the essence of your experience, and the feelings and insights that came with it, into the grail cup, and share this elixir of knowledge. This multiplies the benefits of your quest, and vindicates the difficulty of your labors, by uplifting everyone. In this way you can also relieve some of the loneliness you suffered while undergoing your trials.

Foundation: Four of Pentacles


Take stock of your many blessings and honor your powerful roots.

The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background.

The Four of Coins in this position suggests you are blessed with substantial gift assets of one kind or another. Some families are culturally rich; some are spiritually rich, while others have financial wealth. All of these can be blessings.

Take stock of your personal inheritance, and honor your roots. Be grateful for, and take advantage of, the natural resources passed down to you in this lifetime.

In the English-school decks, we see the image of a person who is stuck in his or her misunderstanding of how the material plane works. He’s afraid to let go of his four measly coins, because he doesn’t know he has to give in order to get. When looked at this way, this is the card of “poverty consciousness.”

Recent Past: Two of Swords


When you give up thinking yours is the only reality, you can recognize and respect diversity of thought and experience.

The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power.

When the Two of Swords is in this position, a rude awakening in a relationship or situation shook your assumption that everyone understood circumstances clearly. You thought you knew what to expect of others and what they were expecting of you. It is a shock to discover that a past agreement had distinctly different meanings for you and another party. Don’t assume that you have been set up or deceived, however.

Use the situation as an opportunity to recognize the differences in peoples’ experience of reality, their priorities and their points of view. Rather than leap into blaming others for what are essentially differences of perception, you can begin to appreciate the rich diversity of this world and the importance of making clear understandings and agreements. Laxity in communication due to assumptions all too often results in arguments over differences instead of leading to celebrations over shared endeavors.

Higher Power: Seven of Hearts


There are good choices and then there is a best choice. Which will your conscience lead you to?

The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom.

When the Seven of Cups comes up in this position, you have a spread of options that are testing you. Can you really choose the best for all concerned, or are you going to fall back on short-term gratification? Be assured there is no wrong choice, but there is a spectrum of better and better choices that culminates in the very best choice.

Your Higher Power would like to see if you have learned enough in your spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth to be able to freely make the best choice without coercion, based on what your heart knows to be true. There is no way to fail this test, but there are ways to pass it with flying colors. Follow your conscience and, relatively speaking, you can do no wrong.

Near Future: Five of Hearts


Situations change and setbacks occur. While you accept that as the nature of the game, it doesn’t mean the outcome will be unsatisfactory.

The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

With the Five of Cups in this position, you are called upon to temper inflated expectations. Whatever motivated you in the past no longer applies, because it’s now apparent the situation is not going to turn out as you had wished. That doesn’t mean it’s destined to turn out badly. Reality takes a bite out of every dream. It’s a natural adjustment to any ideal or vision. Occasionally we have to accept a humbling development.

Although you have some disappointment to work through, don’t let it undermine your enthusiasm. You have not done the wrong thing, walked the wrong path or followed the wrong guidance. A zigzag path is just the nature of the path. You win some, you lose some. Don’t let setbacks take you out of the game.

Blocks & Inhibitions: The Fool


You are too attached to a need for self-control.

The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck — unless you examine yourself and make some corrections.

When the Fool comes up in this position, lack of trust in your authentic, original nature causes you to resist spontaneity and freedom. Without trust in your essential nature, you can’t afford to move in any direction, take any steps, make any decisions. Without trust, you are riddled with fears and insecurities.

Don’t inhibit yourself by the fear of what might go wrong. Determine what you would like and how to get it to happen. Look at your current situation as an opening rather than a trial. It’s a chance to go where you have never been before and experience new dimensions.

Allies: The Lovers


If you give too much time to confusion, you will lose your primary ally.

The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time.

The Lovers in this position suggests that you are receiving more than one attractive invitation. In this case, if you promise yourself to one, you’ll have to forego the other. This principle applies in romance, business or any other alliance.

Sometimes we need to focus our attention on the highest priority, putting second and third considerations aside. Perhaps you are being distracted from a pivotal, important relationship by a possibility, promise or hope. Choose what is real over what is just a possibility. Work to raise what is real up to the level of the ideal, rather than just wildly grasping at the ideal. Your true ally is waiting for you to get over your flirtation with an attractive bit player.

Advice: Prince of Swords


Refine your communication and negotiation skills so you are at peak effectiveness.

The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.

The Knight of Swords in this position advises you to remain open to conflicting ideas instead of surrounding yourself exclusively with people who agree with you. This knight is most effective when testing his ideas in a debate. Emulate his ability to communicate successfully by keeping your conversations impersonal and humorous so no hurt feelings are provoked.

Practice your negotiation skills so you will be in shape for imminent diplomatic challenges as they arise. A sparring partner could help you learn to control impulsive comments and stem your urge to be right at the expense of others being wrong.

Long-term Potential: Queen of Wands


Your energetic personality and achievements promise you a brilliant future.

The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the “wild card” yet to be played.

The Queen of Wands in this position suggests bright prospects. Your record of achievements is enough to advance you beyond your peers, inevitably attracting the attention of your superiors.

This can be both a blessing and a challenge — because it is as easy for a person to feel threatened by your considerable competence as it is for them to admire you. But love you or hate you, they need someone like you. Your style of practical hands-on leadership is essential to the success of any project.

© Amy Zerner & Monte Farber
This reading is based on the work of Tarot Expert Christine Payne-Towler and ©1998 – 2007. All rights reserved.

December 31, 2007 at 7:18 pm 2 comments

More Affirmations

I’ve added two more affirmations to my daily routine:

I respect myself unconditionally right now


I am intending vibrant health.

I felt moved to add both from reading Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, which, if you’re sick of hearing about, you’ll be happy to know that I finished reading it today and probably won’t be quoting from it any more. On the other hand, if you liked what you’ve read from/heard about it, I suggest you pick up your own copy. It’s a very powerful book.

December 27, 2007 at 8:57 pm 3 comments

Individual & Collective Pain

Overcome any bitterness that may have come to you because you were not up to the magnitude of the pain that was entrusted to you.

Like the mother of the world who carries the pain of the world in her heart, each one of us is part of her heart and therfore endowed with a certain measure of cosmic pain.  You are sharing in the totality of that pain.

You are called upon to meet it in joy instead of self-pity.  The secret is to offer your heart as a vehicle to transform cosmic suffering into joy.

Sufi saying

(Image from

December 26, 2007 at 2:10 pm 1 comment

Personal Mythology

I just finished reading Truth or Dare: Encounters with Power, Authority and Mystery the other day. I highly recommend it to everyone, but the reason I bring it up today is because in it Starhawk suggests an exercise that I finally attempted this morning: writing one’s personal mythology.

Here’s what I came up with:

The Myth of May

There once was a girl, but she was Troubled and her family was afraid of her. She was afraid of them too and she ran away to the Cold East. But the Wind was like ice cutting through her, leeching at her memory, personality. And she wandered across the country to the Golden West as if a ghost. She needed someone to name her True Name, but she was a stranger. Then, one day, a Raven passing over head dropped a stone into her lap as she lay reclining against a tree. She smiled, cupping it in her hands and as she washed it in the nearby stream, the bubbling seemed to form her name and suddenly she knew who she was again. Returning home to the Great Plains, she found that the plants adorning the front garden had completely grown over, choking the house. But the Sky and the Land remembered her and embraced her and she danced between them in joy.

December 21, 2007 at 5:11 pm 5 comments


A few nights ago I was half awake when I had a dream: I was being chased around what might have been a submarine by something that I couldn’t see.  The fear I felt is the fear I associate with being around my parents.  In my dream I didn’t have any means of protecting myself against this imminent threat except throwing pieces of paper with the word “no” written on them, and hoping that would make them go away.  But then I stopped running, turned around and saw nothing but the pieces of paper behind me.

I knew then that it was a symbol that I wasn’t going to let my parents get to me like they’ve been able to my whole life.  The litmus test was getting 3 emails from my mother early this week, which normally would have sent me into an emotional tailspin.  Instead, I had absolutely no emotional reaction.  This is a major personal miracle.

December 19, 2007 at 9:34 pm 2 comments

Awakening the Dreamer Symposium coming to Kansas City

YOU’RE INVITED by June Holte to

Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream Symposium

DECEMBER 29, 10-5

“Bringing forth an environmentally sustainable, socially just and spiritually fulfilling human presence on earth as the guiding principle of our time.”



Join us in this expanding global initiative to change the dream of the modern world, starting with exploring the links between humanity’s most critical concerns:  environmental sustainability, social justice, and spiritual fulfillment.

This multi-media, day-long symposium combines leading edge information, group interaction, and video clips of some of the most respected luminaries and thinkers of our time, including Paul Hawken, Thomas Berry, Brian Swimme, Desmond Tutu, Julia Butterfly Hill, Van Jones, Lynn Twist, Majora Carter, and Matthew Fox.  Together we will grapple with assumptions underlying how we see ourselves in the world today.  You will leave fully inspired and moved to new and deeper levels of both awareness and action, in a state of what Paul Hawken calls “blessed unrest”.

Although the symposium has already been led to over 10,000 people in 12 countries, this Kansas City symposium is one of the first times it will be held in the midwest.  It will be hosted and facilitated by June Holte.  June is completing a master’s degree in Sustainable Living and Social Transformation in a small private school in Honolulu, Hawaii, and has presented on issues related to sustainability to over 4000 individuals.

For more detailed information:
contact June Holte at

…and see:


Saturday, December 29, 2007

10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

$20-40 (sliding scale)

Center for Spiritual Living
1306 West 39th Street
Kansas City, MO  64111

1) contact June Holte:

2) register online: 

Dress casually and comfortably.

Please bring a sack lunch or be prepared to partake of one of several restaurants within four blocks–Indian, Vietnamese, deBronx deli, Middle Eastern, Mongolian Grill, and more.

For anyone who wishes, we’ll go out for coffee/tea afterward to continue the conversation.

December 19, 2007 at 4:41 pm Leave a comment

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