Loss of a Mentor

November 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm Leave a comment

I’ve been having troubling dreams the past few days so I knew that something was coming up to the surface and this morning there it was: I’m totally pissed off at my uncle.  He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a spiritual mentor AND he was the only person who’s told me family history in an honest way.  I’ve only had him in my life very sporadically until this summer.

I enjoyed spending time with him because he’s been through things like me and has an outlook on life similar in very many ways to mine (I don’t know anyone else besides us who claim to talk to trees…) and he helped me to see the historic background for aspects of myself that always seemed so alien from what I knew/experienced of my family.  It was good finding that kind of peace with myself and with my family history.

Then he had to be a fucking asshole and try to rape me.  Not only is that sick and horrible in itself, but because of it I’ve lost a family member I connected with (I’m not speaking to or seeing him), a chance to learn more about my heritage, and a spiritual bond I’ve never had with any person let alone any man.

I’m pissed that he put that sort of perverted ruination on what was so much positivity in my life, but now is something I can hardly bare to think about and when I do, I’m always inwardly wincing about it.  Anyway, this is my next issue to work through.  I’m sure I will be grouchy until I do.

What’s up with spiritual role models being sex perverts?

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Entry filed under: family, reality, sexuality. Tags: , , .

Metaphor & Vision Censorship

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