Archive for September, 2007


I won’t be updating for a while because of a family emergency.


September 24, 2007 at 2:47 pm Leave a comment

Happy Birthday from is a website that provides readings, horoscopes and more stuff of the same kind.  For my recent birthday they gave me a free Celtic Cross Tarot reading.  Check it out:

Higher Power


Long-term Potential



Blocks & Inhibitions


Your Interpretations
Self: Princess of Pentacles


The wise apprentice merges willingly with his new profession.

The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

With the Page of Coins (in some decks, a Princess) in this position, you are typified as a person who is reinventing her or himself to create a better fit with a chosen profession. The wise apprentice shapes him or herself to the needs of the work and embraces a lifestyle, not just a job description. This requires a certain amount of contemplation and study, not to mention the actual physical experience of getting in there and wrestling with your medium until you become adept at it. As you master the skills and techniques as well as the laws and rules of your trade or profession, you create value in yourself and a niche for yourself in your field.

Situation: Strength


An honorable individual is called upon to accept a leadership role.

The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time.

The Strength card calls for a sober and ethical person to provide some direction. He or she may be able to neutralize conflicts and point everyone toward living in harmony with all of creation.

The situation calls out for an individual who can bridge the gap between different kinds of consciousness, including possibly other species. Such a person projects a natural moral authority and stimulates others to rise to their highest selves. Such inspirational strength will improve any situation.

Challenges/ Opportunities: Ace of Wands


Make your decisions wisely because you will have to live with the consequences.

The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

The Ace of Wands in this position encourages you to keep your focus through the inevitable changes that will emerge from the choice or decision you are currently making. Have the courage of your convictions. When you are in a position in which you can do things your own way, you have to be a leader, taking responsibility for all the consequences of this choice, which is now in your hands.

Be sure you are willing to live with the outcome. This is the moment to possibly adjust your thinking. Once things are further set in motion, it may be too late.

Foundation: Four of Hearts


Deep within, you have reasons not to fall back on inertia. Use this inner knowledge to sharpen your attention.

The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background.

The Four of Cups in this position suggests that you have experienced fallow times wherein you were uninspired, listless, and even apathetic. If this is one of those times, you might be tempted to disassociate and entertain yourself with fantasy instead of challenging yourself to keep growing and stay strong.

It’s a luxury to have the option of coasting through life. There is a cost, however. Dependency leaves you open to fluctuations outside of your control — changes you may not be prepared for. If you’ve expereinced this before, you can prevent yourself from slipping into this powerless position again by recalling your past. Use those memories to ensure that you will not lose track of events as they unfold around you. If you recognize how easily these lapses could happen again, you can take steps to avoid falling into the dependency you used to settle for.

Recent Past: Five of Swords


Accept responsibility for your part in an unfortunate situation and figure out how you can take action to correct it.

The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power.

With the Five of Swords in this position, a conflict between personal agendas has taken place that will be difficult to undo. The Five of Swords represents the temptation of self-centeredness over collective welfare. Scrutinize and examine how you may have contributed to any defensiveness and emotional or verbal hostilities that may have arisen.

Recent events have highlighted the importance of vigilance over selfishness and divisiveness. Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way. Face the situation by asking how you can improve things from this point forward. Find a way to take personal responsibility for issues that are yours so you can come back into balance and a rediscovered ability to trust. Examine what happened so you will be sure to avoid repetition of past mistakes.

Higher Power: Queen of Swords


As core truths emerge, accept their influence and allow your life to be changed.

The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom.

When the Queen of Swords comes up in this position, your inner grandmother is taking her throne. Male or female, we all have living within us a wise crone or powerful Queen of Heaven figure, a mature mother archetype. She is stepping forward now in your own psyche. Her higher reasoning is flowing into your consciousness, helping you see things in a broader way.

This involves a peeling away of appearances to yield a clearer disclosure of core issues. She is trying to remind you about what is true, what works and what you can do to positively affect your situation. Don’t resist her; accept her influence.

Near Future: Two of Hearts


A relationship is blooming. Trust the process and open with it.

The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

With the Two of Cups in this position, a newly emerging or existing friendship can develop into something more. You may feel as if you want to know this person or situation better and better. This optimistically placed card encourages you to trust and let yourself open up. It is telling you to go for it — why hold back? One of the strongest human drives is to relate more deeply, more honestly and with fuller consciousness.

As long as you’re not frivolous with this relationship or foolishly scattering your energy around, there is no reason to repress your feelings or pretend that an amazing alchemical occurrence isn’t in the works.

Blocks & Inhibitions: The Moon


Like a shadow boxer, you are in reaction to your own projections.

The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck — unless you examine yourself and make some corrections.

When the Moon comes up in this position, your concept of the unknown frightens you. But this is a paradox, because what is truly unknown couldn’t possibly resemble what your ego can project, either optimistically or pessimistically. It would totally confound your categories and definitions!

When you get stuck on what you think you have to worry about, the truth of the situation goes unnoticed. Refrain from obsessing on negative assumptions, doubts and fears and take a clear look at what is actually happening and what you are feeling. Feel it fully, so it can pass.

Allies: King of Pentacles


You will be on the receiving end of generous support as long as you use your talents and gifts wisely.

The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time.

In this position, the King of Coins suggests that you have the right kind of support available to you in this situation. You are with the people who can supply you with resources and helpful contacts for an endeavor or relationship you want.

The people around you will be wonderfully supportive and generous as long as you live up to your potential, in the process repaying them for their trusting investment in you.

Advice: Queen of Pentacles


Be confident that if you express your truth you will not have to worry about the consequences. You will remain safe and sound.

The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.

The Queen of Coins in this position advises you to trust the forces that have taken care of you up to this point. Continue to express your truth without worrying that you are going to lose the roof over your head or the bed you sleep in. It is your destiny to be safe and sound at this time in your life.

Proceed with confidence and do what you so strongly feel must be done. Since the Queen of Coins is often the person with the best intuition in the crowd, you may feel at first as if you are going against the grain, only to later find yourself becoming the leader of a new trend.

Long-term Potential: Princess of Hearts


If things are left to develop on their own, you may land an important supporting role.

The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the “wild card” yet to be played.

With the Page (in some decks, a Princess) of Cups in this position, you may remain in the background as things develop, serving as a secretary, assistant or confidant for someone or some group in power.

Not everyone is psychologically suited for this role. Examine the opportunity carefully, asking yourself if you are willing to be of service on this level. Perhaps you have leadership aspirations of your own right now. You will be happier with your contributions and whatever role you choose if you are realistic and honest with yourself. Examine your underlying assumptions in the matter at hand to determine how realistic you are being.

© Amy Zerner & Monte Farber

This reading is based on the work of Tarot Expert Christine Payne-Towler and ©1998 – 2007. All rights reserved.

The reason that I posted this is partially to show that the Higher Self is powerful enough to interact with spiritual tools and extract advice and wisdom from them even when those tools are only words and images on the internet.  This reading is probably the most 100% accurate and necessary of any I’ve ever had.  I am in a place right now that is full of passion and doubt as I try to reinvent my life to be what I both want and feel morally obligated to do.  My new job at Bridging The Gap (notice a similar phrase in my reading?) working with sustainability issues has been a mega-booster attached to what I’ve always fuzzily intended to do with my life.  It is incredible and terrifying and what I needed to hear was all in this reading waiting for me: knowing that the Queen of Heaven is my strong advocate right now; knowing just how important it is right now for me to overcome my fear, self-doubt, and self-censorship;  and many other things both obvious and subtle.

I am always so grateful to hear what I need to hear.

September 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm Leave a comment

My Animal Totems: Part 2, The Dolphin

If you’ll remember, I mentioned something a while ago about an animal totem series. Today I offer you another installment.

Dolphin: psychic abilities, initiators, sound

There are many ways that an animal totem can show up in our lives. One of the most prevalent animal totems in my life has been the dolphin. I’d like to give you a brief overview of the significant impacts on my psyche that dolphins have had in one way or another in an attempt to demonstrate the mundane and miraculous ways of totems.

The Dolphin Enters My Reality

When I was around 10 years old or so I was at a local amusement park that had a dolphin show, which used to be much more common than it is now. My sisters and I were fighting over where to sit and I chose a place that was painted blue on the front row. An employee came up to me and said that I was in the place where they chose volunteers from the audience to pet the dolphins. I was estatic and when the time came, I didn’t even notice the many spectators watching me (I was REALLY shy) as I got to pet the dolphin for several minutes. That moment seemed like a miracle to me because I didn’t feel like special things happened to me. This experience changed my mind about that a little and introduced me to my love of dolphins.

Much later I learned about the self-awareness mirror test given to dolphins. This only further convinced me of their intelligence and fabulousness. I am certain that all dolphins in captivity are doing research on us.


September 13, 2007 at 8:39 pm 2 comments

Message from a Hopi Elder

A piece of paper with this typed out on it was given to me at First Friday at the Crossroads this weekend.  I wanted to share it because I think the Native Americans are some of THE best people for Americans to get spiritual advice from AND because this is what I am personally trying to do/consider/build/create/contribute to.  Enjoy!


“You have been telling the people that this is the
Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the
people that this is the Hour.  And there are
things to be considered…
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said,
“This could be a good time!  There is a river flowing
now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there
are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold
on to the shore.  They will feel they are being torn
apart and will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.  The elders say we
must let go
of the shore, push off into the middle of
the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above
the water.  And I say, see who is in there with you
and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing
personally.  Least of all, ourselves
.  For the moment
that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to
a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over.  Gather yourselves!
Banish the world struggle from your attitude and you
vocabulary.  All that we do now must be done in a
sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Oraibi, Arizona
Hopi Nation

September 11, 2007 at 7:01 pm Leave a comment

Love with Conciousness

My Uncle Kim is a hugely important figure in my recent life.  I didn’t really meet him until several years ago, but we get along great.  He’s the only person in my family besides my little brother that I’m actually can connect with.  It means a lot to me to have his influence in my life.  Anyway, this is all by the way of talking about how I wrote a poem the other day.

For lack of any other paper, I wrote my poem out on a gigantic piece of paper from a sketch pad.

Later, my Uncle got trashed and wrote me a message beneath it:

“There is a moment of pure conciousness I have heard called (LOVE). I do not know [illegible] of this thing called love. I fight for it. I strive for it and I try to accomplish it and to attain it.  By horse, by sword, by education, by muscles yet I am an asshole.  I am still Kim.

“It’s about fighting so hard man, from the time you were a child, they were so fuckin’ stupid and you weren’t, so you had to compromise between a bunch of half-dead.

“Please love with conciousness, Kim.”

September 10, 2007 at 3:36 pm Leave a comment

A Baby’s Soul

The fetal stageI had a miscarriage about 3 and a half years ago now and it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever been through.  My husband and I didn’t want to be pregnant and it was the beginning of the end of our relationship in many ways.  I’ve felt as guilty about that as I imagine women who have abortions feel, so Erin Pavlina’s blog about the spiritual ramifications of abortion really caught my eye.  In the post, she addresses spirituality and miscarriage, giving me some peace about some things I’ve been hurting about:

“Miscarriage is not an abortion, as I’m sure everyone knows, but I want to mention that when a miscarriage happens it is often the conscious choice of the baby’s soul who may decide for a wide variety of reasons not to incarnate.  Perhaps its parents’ life circumstances have changed and it can see it won’t be in the same position it expected to be in when it incarnates.  Or perhaps conditions elsewhere in the baby’s maze have changed (for example, a key player in their future dies unexpectedly) and the baby decides the time is not right for it to incarnate.  Sometimes the mother or father’s higher self determines that having a baby at that time would not be right and arranges with the baby’s soul to step out of the incarnation process and seek other parents or wait until the timing is better.  But don’t fret when you have a miscarriage.  The baby’s soul is still very much intact and safe.”

 Since my recent decision to have kids soon(ish), it’s doubly valuable for me to feel better about my previous pregnancy.  I find it highly significant that I miscarried twins and that I plan to have two kids now.  I’d like to think that they just were waiting until I was ready and that I didn’t irrevocably break something precious.

September 6, 2007 at 4:00 pm 2 comments

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