What I’m Reading/Doing

The spiritual books I’m reading right now are very excellent.  You should check them out:

The Power of the Soul: the way to heal, rejuvenate, transform, and enlighten all life by  Zhi Gang Sha

A Handbook of Chakra Healing: spiritual practice for health, harmony and inner peace by Kalashatra Govinda

Spiritual Doodles and Mental Leapfrogs: Playbook for Unleashing Spiritual Self Expression by Katherine Revoir

African spirits speak : a white woman’s journey into the healing tradition of the sangoma by Nicky Arden

 

My spirituality is much more calm (for lack of a better word) than ever. I’m feeling in tune with the flow of life with Yullyo, the Universal rythym. I’m doing my daily spiritual practice and opening myself to the unfolding of love and life around me. Seems like new connections and opportunities are springing up everywhere and it’s nearly overwhelming. Then I remember to breathe and just be… and everything’s ok.

Anagrams Show Characteristics

A lot has been happening lately that I haven’t had time to write about… probably not that important to anyone but me anyway

But, something way cool I had to share was an email I recieved from Numerologist Tania Gabrielle about how the letters in our names can form anagrams that give clues to our characters and our life’s journey. Here’s a few exerpts to show you what I mean:

Blair was the disgraced reporter
who was fired from the New York Times after he was
caught plagiarizing and fabricating elements of his
stories.

Well, one of the secrets in your name is that you can
create words, or anagrams, from the letters of your
name to give you some inside info about your
tendencies. For Blair what jumped out at me was his
last name.

The letters for Blair contain the word ‘liar.’

[From his full name] these words pop out – jail, nosy, banal, salary,
brain, bias, yarn, sonar and irony.

There are wonderful and good qualities you can find
in names as well. And some very interesting hints.

For example, ‘President Barack Obama’  - his new
current name – contains the names of these six
countries – Iran, Pakistan, Korea, Panama, America and
Canada.

This shows me where much of the focus of Obama’s
Presidency will be.

I was intrigued so I Googled an anagram generator and found that my name can create these words, many of which are EXTREMELY TELLING:

Cavalrymen (I love horses and my Dad’s obsessed with the Civil War which was the first use of horsemen to win battles in the US of A)

Relevancy

Enclave

Cleaver (my other blog is May’s Machete and I’ve long been in love with shiny, cutty things)

Alchemy

Almanac

Maracas

Caravan

Manacles

Valance

Camera

Arcane

Ashcan

Canal

Carnal

Racal

Calvary

Canary

Canvas

Hymen

Many

Shaman

Alarms

Naval

Ace

Harem

Raves

Raven

Yam

Leach

Naves

Marches

Those make more sense depending on how well you know me. I was really amazed at what I found. You should check it out.

 

Right Here, Right Now

The Universe keeps sending me little signs and messages, letting me know that I am in the right place, on the right path, doing the right thing.

It is such a gift because I feel so confused and disjointed lately. My ego is having fits while I’m trying to let Spirit take the lead. It’s not excited about the idea of being leashed and obedient, to letting go of the illusion of control.

I don’t want to lead. I want to simply do as Spirit says. Crazy how something so simple is so difficult to do, much less maintain. I’ve started writing a stream of consciousness page or two in the mornings to help me identify the ego’s ridiculous lies and tricks.

I want to let go and let the Universe hold me while I close my ego’s eyes to the world and truly rest.

Tee hee. Being silly is very important to keeping the ego in check. I have learned recently to take being silly seriously… in that I need to honor it and make time in my life for it.

Back to Reality

So the Universe is hitting me hard on the head with a stick right now.

I’m working with numerology to figure out my life challenges and karma, etc. Turns out I was such a dick in the past and I’m so impatient that I said “I want to learn everything at once” and so I have 4 challenges in my life, most of which are ongoing. In the past I never wanted to rely on others and I never wanted to serve so my lesson is to create connections and to serve, even to my own detriment. Anyway, the whole exercise forced me to take a grim look at myself and my karma that I’ve wanted to disown before. Now I have to own it, accept it, accept how crappy I am so I be lifted up, accept that I’m not being lifted up now, accept that I have debt to pay, duty to bear and major fucking issues to resolve.

I’ve been an escapist all my life, dreaming of new and better worlds to inhabit. But my lesson now is to accept and let go. So I have to be okay with living in this place which is extremely painful to me when I’d rather be living (if only in my head) somewhere else. I’ve even been using spirituality as an escape and now I have to be really really really present. I have to be okay with being in complete nonattachment to what is going on around me. It’s a hard lesson to learn.

Not a happy one either. But I’m learning…. I’m learning.

Family Matters

A few weeks ago, my aunt had a discussion with me, trying to get me to work on building relationships with my parents her way. It was frustrating as I felt that she gave no credence to anything I said, and I eventually just stopped emailing her back because there’s only so many ways to say “I totally understand what you’re saying but in this place in my life right now I don’t find it appropriate to do that.”

The last time I asked, the spirits had told me to wait for the Right Action to take in the situation to appear before me and until then I was to do nothing. So, frustrated as I was, I had to be content with doing nothing. It’s something I can just barely accept myself so I understand that others can’t get it, but it’s still so frustrating to be true to what you know to be right when everyone’s telling you you’re doing the wrong thing. With my aunt being the most recent in a long line of adults who told me to just “get over it” re: my parents and deal with the disrespectful ways they treat me as if it doesn’t happen. I know from long experience that’s not good or healthy or helpful so I don’t.

Anyway…. needless to say, a part of me was stomping and storming about this and it’s one reason I was so deeply touched by the ancestor root ritual: I desperately was seeking some way to bring healing to my relationship with my parents, but it had to be in a way that in no manner relied on input from them, because the Universe had showed me that wasn’t a viable option either.

Suddenly, my brain put together all the pieces I’d been holding in different parts of my mind and I realized last week that I had the solution to begin helping my parents heal and to help me have greater love for them. I realized all I had to do was to reach past the mean, cranky grown-up versions of them I’d known to the scared, abused, love-starved children that they still are inside and send all the love I had to them, meditating on the messages that they are loved and safe. It’s funny that I only found my answer when I finally realized/admitted how alike I am with my parents, how shaped we were by how we grew up and the fears and desires that overwhelm us. When I looked at them clearly in this way, as I danced and asked the Universe to help me do in the ancestor root ritual, I knew instantly that what they truly desired was to be loved and feel safe as all abused children do. And that their bad behaviour stems from still not believing that they are either safe or loved.

So I’d been meditating on my parents as children since that realization, sending them love and light and my heart gained a new expansiveness and a new compassion it didn’t have before. It was interesting to then have my mother contact me to ask if she could bring by my birthday present (when I’d last talked to her, she’d said I’d have to go up north and get it, which is ridiculous since I don’t own a car and she does) at the end of the week.

I said yes, slightly trepidated, since I often feel completely drained and worthless after being around my mother, and decided to hope for the best without letting my fears get to me. To just let whatever happened happened and to be okay with it. So as I waited for my mom to show up, I read and calmed myself whenever I got jittery. When she showed up, the visit went better than I ever could have anticipated!

Of course, it started with her giving me the books full of fairy stories I read when I was a little girl that my mom had been given by her parents when she was a little girl and that I look forward to reading to my little girl. It’s a series of 12 (one is missing) that are designed to get more advanced so they can “grow up with you.” She also gave me the bowl and platter family heirlooms that are mine. They belonged to my great-grandmother and are etched in gold with flowers. These two items are now sitting in places of honor in my living room and I feel comforted by their precense.  She also gave me a picture of her and my dad which is on my altar next to a picture of unidentified female ancestors that accidentally made it’s way into my possession a couple years ago.

But the really amazing, soul-nourishing part of the visit was that we were able for the first time ever to just sit and have a nice conversation without judgement or freakouts on either side. We could just sit together and know we mutually cared for each other and wished each other good things and as simple as that sounds it is something I never thought would be possible in this lifetime.

And last night I had my first really pleasant dream about my family. I’m feeling full of gratitude and trust. I feel deeply cared for and loved by the Universe and yet I’m still so amazed that it was really real.

Animal Interactions

We let my animal companion Frederick hang out on our porch unsupervised a bit lately since he’s so well behaved and will generally stay on or near the porch unlike the other 2 cats. Monday night I let him out and then forgot about it because I got really sleepy and was trying to just stay awake. Hours later, when it was raining and I remembered, I went out to look for him and couldn’t find him anywhere around our apartment.

Instead of freaking out, like I normally would, I chose to ask for help. I sat in front of my altar and got in touch with the Christ grid, asking it, without expectation, for aid. The image came to my mind of Frederick resting on the Christ grid while it pulled him like a river current directly to our front door. Over and over and over it played in my mind as my fiance was outside looking for Frederick. After he gave up and came back inside, Frederick scratched at the front door to be let in! It was an amazing lesson in letting go and letting the Universe take over.

***

Today on our walk to work, we stopped to pet Dakota, a beautiful husky whom we’ve befriended. He always runs up to greet us, “arroooo rooo”ing while we stop one, two, or three times in a trip to give him some affection. This morning, I bowed to his god-self and it really surprised him! He’s used to only being viewed as a dog! But he was happy with my acknowledgement and showed me an image of his god-self, which is much larger, standing up as high as my shoulder, with enormous powerful shoulders and a more menacing, fierce attitude than the sweet, beautiful and cuddly demenor he normally shows.

Sun Valley Spiritual Film Festival

This weekend is the Sun Valley Spiritual Film Festival in Idaho. The organizors asked me to spread the word about this event and it sounds like a good one!

From their email:

This year, Jim Walsh, CEO HESA Institute, CEO Intentional Chocolate brings us:

“Cracking the Cosmic Egg” a short film and presentation to an exciting new frontier where science and spirituality combine to improve the human condition. September 20th, 2:00 PM.

Link to the trailer for the Sun Valley Spiritual Film Festival:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM7ajI8SWoU

HESA’s mission is to combine the science of spirituality and the science of matter, East and West together, to benefit the areas of human energy, health care, nutrition and education in measurable ways. One of the highlights of the talk will be an audience sampling of one of first prototype products to come out of HESA’s technology-Intentional Chocolate!

Jim Walsh brings to HESA his extensive knowledge of nutrition and science and his entrepreneurial skills to the unique challenge of unlocking the mysteries of the Human Energy System. Considered one of the world’s leading experts on food, he is widely published and quoted in newspapers, journals, TV and radio. Walsh also serves as Chairman of the Board of Hawaiian Vintage Chocolate since 1992 and Intentional Chocolate since 2007. He serves on the Advisory Boards of the Institute for Advanced Studies in Spirituality and Wellness At The Chicago Theological Seminary and the Center for Creating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin. He is a member and co-founder of the Badger Angel Capital Network (BACN) assisting the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation and the University of Wisconsin in technology transfer and business start-ups. Walsh’s involvements are dedicated to the single objective of creating products that nourish both body and spirit to improve the quality of life for all beings.

Visit the HESA Institute: www.hesainstitute.com

Sounds intriguing! If you make it there, leave me a comment and let me know how it was!

Visit intentional chocolate: www.intentionalchocolate.com/

Free Energy Sessions (KC Area)

My amazing friend Darcy is giving free energy sessions as part of her energy practicioner certification course. If you live in the Kansas City area and want a free session, let her know! Her contact info, etc. is below:

I am currently undergoing an extensive certification program with Joey Klein and the Institute of Transformational Studies, and part of my certification process is to give 100 free energy sessions. All I ask in return is that you fill out a very brief survey of your experience (takes about 2 minutes to complete).

If you are interested in scheduling a free session, please contact me at darcybloss AT gmail.com or 816-809-9138 and feel free to pass this email along to anyone else you know who may be interested.

More information on the free sessions is below, and you can also visit the ITS website at http://www.instituteoftransformationalstudies.com/ for more information on their philosophies, seminars, workshops and presentations. Some of them are free.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Darcy Bloss

Seeking Stillness

My goal right now is to become one with my path. To seek the stillness within me no matter what the circumstances around me. That’s part of the reason why I’ve started the (mental) chanting. I can do it anytime, it focuses, grounds and calms me, and it’s helping me to integrate the divine into the daily.

I want everything I do to be an expression of the goddess within.

Dropping Keys

I’m still reading through The Gift, and this poem by Hafiz completely changes the way I’ve been looking at many things I do that feel completely insignificant:

The Beautiful Rowdy Prisoners

The small man

Builds cages for everyone

He Knows.

While the sage,

Who has to duck his head

When the moon is low,

Keeps dropping keys all night long

For the Beautiful

Rowdy
Prisoners.

I am so grateful for this vision! Now I can see my efforts as dropping keys for some future prisoner to unlock his/herself and that is a blessing!