Energy Work, Brain Cleansing and My True Self

Lately with all the crazy energies flying around, I have been forced to deal with old hurts and fears I hadn’t fully acknowledged or released. I also had my priorities re-aligned and am feeling fully in touch with my soul’s purpose.

My friend Darcy who is working to become an energy practioner (click here for details on having her work with you) gave me an hour long session on Friday night. I had some major AHA! moments in between feeling sleepy and contented. She had an amazing OM chant going on in the background and I immediately felt relaxed and in a receptive state. I meditated on Gaia for a while as different feelings and thoughts emerged and left.

I finally started meditating on my future daughter, who has come to me in many visions and to whom I can communicate very easily on a soul level as we prepare for her entrance into Earth. She showed me that I was afraid of her abandoning me because I have had two miscarriages and that I was not trusting her and the Universe as I needed to, being ashamed to be honest with others about how real and alive she is to me. She told me that she has already agreed to be with me as my daughter and that I should trust in this. She showed me herself as a brilliant star, as a baby, a teen, and an old woman, before fading back into a baby. I felt her weight on my chest with her head on my shoulder and I wanted to cry from the joy and peace I felt. She even showed me a vision of me decorating her nursery for her to help me believe fully in her future entrance into my life (which will change everything for me!)

I also forgave myself and my mother for the mistakes we made in our relationship with each other, and had some more realizations about the spiritual aspect of my childhood imaginings and their effect on my life.

The next day, I had my regular meditation session with friends although only one was able to come. We had a very good session that was powerful for the both of us. I received some very strong images and good wisdom, though my head felt as if it had been peeled back to expose my brain to the world. The feeling led me to draw this:

Our meditation led us to merge fully with our Souls, to really SEE it. My hair and eyes and skin grew brighter and my entire body became more elfin in the mediation. This also helped me become more attuned to my soul name & titles: Fire Flower, Truth-Bringer, Lady of the Flame and Shadow, Goddess-Warrior of ALL-THAT-IS, which I feel now is a proper definition of myself instead of something I have to live up to. We connected with the Christ grid that is both surrounding and within the Earth, which activated my third chakra very strongly. It was exhausting and exhilarating.

Sunday I spent going through the rest of Brain Respiration by Ilchi Lee. Once again, I did a meditation where I looked at my brain and cleansed it in a stream of energy. This time it was pink where the new shiny bits have started healing the scummy rotten bits I had to cleanse a few weeks ago. And when I shook out the “dark energy” it was like a sprinkling of pepper instead of the stream of blackness that flowed from it last time.

One of the last exercises was to meditate in order to see your soul’s vision play out. I did this and saw myself dancing around the Earth planting roses and bearing fruit for others out of the tree growing out of my head (an image I’ll probably draw soon). I saw myself giving birth to Clarissa (my daughter) as if in a womb myself, painless and joyful. When Clarissa joined me on the Earth, still connected to me by the red embellical cord, she and I started dancing in a new pattern (one she taught me) and in this new pattern all the other people on the planet started dancing with us until we were all vibrating at such a rate that we were shimmering and on the same level as our star families who embraced us with open arms.

It was the perfect accumulation of all the work I’ve been doing: to see this vision and to know I can trust the Universe to bring it to pass without my having to force anything. I can simply allow and be my True Self and watch the future unroll beautifully.

I am so blessed.

Meeting My Nature Spirit Guide

Lesson two of Ronni’s fabulous Fairies 101 class included a guided meditation for meeting one’s nature spirit guide. Turns out mine’s a fairy!  She had me write down some of the details of the vision, which I’d like to share with you.

Here’s what I saw during my meditation:
My present my friend gave me was a balm or elixir for healing from my
ex. His betrayal was the worst and it’s the biggest thing in my past I
need to heal from to move on right now.

The flowers in the fields were orange, pink, purple and white.

My friend looked like an elfen fairie. Willowy, reed-like,
effervescent, silly, blond. Wearing a gown of many thin layers of
blue, purple and pink and a halo. She’s a wind/rain spirit with
see-through, glittery wings and huge blue eyes.

Messages from my friend were: Love well. Seek joy. Be peace. Be love.
Give always. Fall like rain on the hearts of others; nourish their
chakra flowers. Be open to accept grace.

In response to my question “How can I be like you?” she said: Grow
lighter! Cast off your burdens and dance in the rain. Open as a flower
to the sun. Use zinnia.

The next meeting with my friend will be tomorrow! That kind of
surprised me, but she’s insistent that I meet her again and soon!

It was very joyful and exciting! Now I need to get good enough to draw her…

Visions

My girlfriend and the picture she drew for me

When my girlfriend visited me, she drew a picture of our dreamed-of future farm (where we want to live out our days being self-sustaining and close to nature) with my energy flowering/flowing out of it in rays with little hearts in them. Since then and since I’ve been chanting, I’ve (and the cats) have been seeing love flow out of me in purple wavey currents with hearts in them. I then realized that flow is the same as the river/ocean I see running through the gardens of animal spirits in my chakras. It is beautiful and freeing to watch the energy pulse through and beyond me. The cats like to sit near me and bask in it when I’m especially vibrating on a high wavelength.

I also want to be sure I’m not neglecting meditation, just sitting with my breath, even though I am chanting a lot now. For a few days I let the chanting replace the meditation instead of realizing how well they work together and that I am stronger and calmer when I do  both. This means I have to really get myself up in the morning and take advantage of my quiet alone time before my darling wakes up.

My first intimation I received linking angels & bees

I did that this morning and as I meditated was given a vision of the angels/devas/earth spirits working in my chakras as flowers like big fuzzy bumblebees. Which is funny b/c I made the above art work (it’s a drawing w/ dangling charm) MONTHS ago that related angels to bees and it tickled something in my brain that I didn’t come to realize consciously until now. They were cross-pollinating the energy in me because I have been welcoming them into my life to work and change me. They showed me that this is one way in which kindred spirits far away from one another are able to share ideas, if they’re on the right wavelength and are allowing the angels to work. It’s also why many times in history the same idea has sprung up in two separate continents at the same time. The angels are here to help us be better humans the way bees strengthen the diversity of flowers by spreading the pollen far and wide. It was a beautiful and sweet vision with which to start the morning.

I also decided to try to use my crystal divination set daily. I used it Sunday, missed yesterday, but used it today. Each time I use it, the messages become easier to see. It is such a joy to be advised by caring entities about what I should be watching for on my path for the day. It helps me to stay centered and to be aware of my reactions and to respond from the heart and from spirit instead of from ego and emotion. I’m so grateful my beautiful girlfriend gave it to me.

I’m also thinking of getting a set of rune stones. I wasn’t interested in runes for divination previously, but I also wasn’t in tune enough with my guides to listen to them that way. I think I’m ready now and as much as I love the crystal set, I think the runes allow for greater possibility and nuances in the divination that I would be wise to take advantage of.

I am getting better at being my true self more often. I had difficulties in the past expressing my spiritual side to my lover and I’m getting better at it now  because I am focusing now on whether or not he’ll think I’m crazy, but on what he needs to know to really know and understand me as I want him to and trusting him to be big enough to accept new ideas of me than he had before, hoping at the same time that it will help him widen his perspective and tap into his inner power.

I’m also hoping that I will keep this same idea in mind in all my relationships and not be afraid of rejection but to live my truth without hesitation. You know, walking in love, not fear.

If you’re interested in seeing more of my art, as well as poems, etc., please visit my deviantArt page.

Accepting and Relearning Old Lessons

Trifecta (featuring my primary relationship's power animals)

With all the crazy energy circulating lately I’ve been ruminating on past lessons, gleaning more from them now that I did at the time.

For instance, one of the most powerful prophetic dreams I’ve ever had was a warning/promise about my eventual marriage and the way it would require an incredible amount out of me. The dream consisted largely of my wandering around in a strange city that looked like Greek ruins being stared at by people in togas as I walked around half searching for something, half running from a pursuer, all the while with blood pouring out of deep gashes in my wrists, elbows, throat, etc… but I’m partly made of marble myself so all that blood loss doesn’t really affect me. The lesson from that I didn’t see before was that even when I thought I was at my weakest, the essential part of me was never changed or damaged by the experience.

I gained acceptance of the flower for my birth month (September/aster) that I always used to dislike as a kid by finding an aster blooming in my belly. Turns out the aster stands for love and patience, two really big ongoing themes in my life.

I’m also re-learning just how perfect for me my darling partner is. I’ve been realizing that what sets him apart from my other lovers (besides being incredibly more awesome and caring) is his ability to dream with me about a shared future and to work towards making that a reality. That was missing in all my other relationships and it made them seem lifeless to me after a while. If you can’t grow together, you’re just dying a little bit each day. This lesson was driven further home for me today by the daily email from DailyOm talking about squirrel energy. My partner is the squirrel to my tree (also my penguin and fellow rabbity-thing – which is what the above triptych is about) and reading this made me so happy, because it just shows me another way in which to rejoice in how he’s so perfect for me:

Affirming an Abundant Future
Squirrel Medicine

Native Americans considered all living beings as brothers and sisters that had much to teach including squirrels. These small creatures taught them to work in harmony with the cycles of nature by conserving for the winter months during times when food was plentiful. In our modern world, squirrels remind us to set aside a portion of our most precious resources as an investment in the future. Though food and money certainly fall into this category, they are only some of the ways our energy is manifested. We can conserve this most valuable asset by being aware of the choices we make and choosing only those that nurture and sustain us. This extends to the natural resources of our planet as well, using what we need wisely with the future in mind.

Saving and conservation are not acts of fear but rather affirmations of abundance yet to come. Squirrels accept life’s cycles, allowing them to face winters with the faith that spring will come again. Knowing that change is part of life, we can create a safe space, both spiritually and physically, that will support us in the present and sustain us in the future. This means not filling our space with things, or thoughts, that don’t serve us. Without hoarding more than we need, we keep ourselves in the cyclical flow of life when we donate our unwanted items to someone who can use them best. This allows for more abundance to enter our lives, because even squirrels know a life of abundance involves more than just survival.

Squirrels use their quick, nervous energy to enjoy life’s adventure. They are great communicators, and by helping each other watch for danger, they do not allow worry to drain them. Instead, they allow their curious nature to lead the way, staying alert to opportunities and learning as they play. Following the example set by our squirrel friends, we are reminded to enjoy the journey of life’s cycles as we plan and prepare for a wonderful future, taking time to learn and play along the way. (Source)

I also re-realized why I can’t have a relationship with my parents, especially my mother. I need to foster emotional health and healing for myself in order to share it with others and being near my mother is like having a raptor shred my heart relentlessly and that’s not something I can heal from and still have energy to do everything else I must do to function in this life. I think this has helped me finally accept that I can’t expect support to come from my parents, as I’d always wistfully hoped would happen in a perfect world where they would accept me for who I am.

I’ve also learned to accept that mine is a path of struggle that will probably be bloodied emotionally over and over again, but I’m big enough to handle it. I’ve been able to see things and respond with “well, here’s a new challenge” instead of the self-pitying and shaking my fist to fate that I used to waste my energy on.

My many issues with child birth (which was linked to my creativity in many ways) that you may remember if you’ve been reading this blog a while have come compltely full-circle and now I’ m waiting with joyous anticipation for the time when the Universe will let me know that we’re ready to bring the little soul, who’s already waiting for her new life to begin, into this material plane. I recently watched Orgasmic Birth, a documentary showing real births where women are beautifully transported into ectasy while delivering children and it was so beautiful and powerful that I cried through most of it. I know the Universe and I will be working on making my childbirth glorious like that and I’m excited to see the changes that this single goal is working in my life and mind.

Generally I’m just happy that I seem to finally have my life in balance, that I’m contributing to my community and creating a beautiful life I love. The recent shifts are really doing amazing things for me. I hope you’re able to enjoy it too.

Love Lifting Me

Working two jobs is as emotionally and physically as draining as I knew it would be. I feel exhausted and unsupported, but every day I wake up and ask the Universe for strength and I receive it.

I walk to work in the mornings with the hare rama, hare krishna mantra rolling through my mind like a river and I see the core of untouchable power within me  that I see at simultaneously being a pillar of iron, a pillar of white light, and a flute through which the Universe plays its tune on me.

Never before has such a stressful experience been so spiritually pleasing – and I’m even not putting in the time I would love to with yoga and meditation most days.

I feel very clearly I am being held up by hands I cannot see and I am incredibly grateful that I still have the energy to pour love into my partner and my friends.

I think it helped to realize that my unconscious goal of most days was to promote emotional healt hand healing in others. Once I made that my conscious goal, so much of what would normally have bothered me before fell by the wayside.

Love is lifting me and while it doesn’t lift me OUT of the problems, I am most certainly floating along on them rather than drowning. And that is all I need.

Spiritual Side of BDSM

The new relationship status between me and my baby just keeps making things between us sweeter. I always felt that my spirituality and sexuality were deeply connected and that eventually they would merge to produce some amazing result in my life, but I never would have imagined it would be this: by being “Mz. Daddy” to him, I’m helping to break down his resistence to Source.

Two nights ago, he was all dressed up how he likes with his collar on and all, and we were being intimate, chatting & playing with one another. I told him about – a gift the Universe had revealed to me earlier that day – about my power name (which it turns out is fireflower) and how I’d always felt I had one, but had never known it before. The look that came over his face when I told him this (which would have been extremely difficult for me to share with him before our new intimacies) was amazing and he seemed to suddenly have his eyes opened to my energetic body.

He started to share with me how he had always wanted to be a super hero and how he had assumed that he must have the power, but he needed to get more to be “super.” This led to him becoming a type of “energy vampire” and he always imagined locking all that power in an iron box around his heart. (He described it and it was the same box that fell of my heart when I finally forgave myself for being molested!) He said that he’d been storing up this energy for years and he had been trying to give it to me over the years, off and on, when we’d been together.

My memory of the events as they happened is a little fuzzy, but basically we started making love and I had him hold on to my feet (which I’ve always disliked having touched before). Suddenly, we could both see and feel the flow of energy moving in circles through our bodies and as we orgasmed together it seemed to come straight from our sacral and heart chakras.

I urged him to let go of the energy he’d been holding on to and to let the beautiful light that is always with him, behind him and surrounding him to enter into him. I had him visualize it as releasing the energy through his chest and pulling the light in through his back, encouraging him to physically feel it pressing against his back, eager to get in.

Then he stated his intention to give all that energy he’d stolen to me, transforming his transgressions through his love for me. He placed his hands over my heart and I orgasmed as I felt a beautiful cloud of white energy like a nebula full of stars passing into me. I can still feel and see it surrounding my heart.

I am so grateful I am finally with a partner I can fully express myself with! It was very telling that during this, his eyes widened and he gasped, shocked: “I thought I knew you.” I knew then that he’d finally seen me fully and it is so good to be truly known.

What I Was Born to Do

Karen’s latest Wings update completely captured what has been happening in my soul and life the past few days:

Things are still moving into place, as we ready for our very permanent positions which will be completed during the solstice of June.

These new changes and our new positionings run very deep. If you are one who is sensitive, you may be feeling deep movement within like a bulldozer or glacier moving inside, placing everything right where it needs to be. This “invisible hand” is from the divine indeed, as it knows so very well exactly what it is doing, even if at times things do not make much sense, or may even take us very much by surprise.

Miracles and more miracles are the earmark of this exciting energy, as our divine and perfect positions on the earth, divine and perfect partners, divine and perfect contributions, and divine and perfect areas of residency, to name a few, are now being lined up for us, if we only allow and trust.

What is occurring now, is that we are finally, but finally being put into place as the divine and rightful stewards of the planet. We are being moved into position via a total and complete anchoring into the earth, so in this way, we will finally feel as though we are home indeed. Thus, “home” will no longer be out there and up there, but very here. And so, feeling a deep bulldozer energy is only indicative of this very deep grounding.

In this way, we will experience feelings that we have never felt before. A calm, a confidence, a sense of security, feelings of great protection, and even of a magnificent power, but only of the divine.

My relationship with my darling boyfriend, now nearing its second anniversary, became incredibly deep and close a couple nights ago. We’ve been into BDSM for a while, but we had a wonderful conversation that really dug deeply into what influenced us to desire it and how our inborn desires connected us with different media and stories… It ended up being a conversation about what we truly desire and he opened up to me and let his true self shine, and asked to be my sub.

I’ve known that this would happen in our relationship eventually, and I was waiting for us to reach the point of trust where we’d be able to take this step and now that it’s happened I’m overwhelmed, awed and grateful for the changes it’s having inside me.

First off, understanding that being a domme requires the complete acceptance of my sub’s true self with the added responsibility of caring for, loving and challenging my sub has filled me with a new willingness to accept him as he is 100% of the time and not just when it’s convenient or positive for me. I feel I’ve become a channel for growth guidance and that has quickly encouraged me to put aside all my emotional pettiness and to live deeply from my spirit so that I will be grounded enough, strong enough, loving enough and divine enough to meet or facilitate the meeting of his needs.

Secondly, I am amazed at how natural living in this state of existence feels. I’ve considered this lifestyle for so long, never thinking that I would be able to enter deeply into it as I have now, and I’m amazed at how different – so much better – it is than how I perceived it from the outside. When we decided I would be his domme and he my sub my soul cried out that this is what it was born for and I could tell his did too.

Seeing the joy on his face, the playfullness and laughter it’s brought to his life, I can’t imagine living any other way.

The decision we’ve made is a covenant, as binding as marriage in our eyes and I am so pleased to see our paths truly united into one we’ll walk together.

Hafiz’s Gift

I’ve been feeling very tired, emotionally drained and unsupported lately. But something that has been bringing me comfort and moments of joy is The Gift, a book of poetry by the Sufi Master Hafiz. I tend to write down inspiring or touching things that I read. The selections below are all handwritten into my journal; all are taken from The Gift, some are full poems and some just fragments:

We Have Not Come to Take Prisoners

We have not come here to take prisoners
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run, my dear
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

…

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom, and LIGHT!

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe
Me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

Like
A pair
Of mismatched newlyweds
One of whom still feels very insecure,
I keep turning to God
Saying,
“Kiss
Me.”

When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:

To love more,
And be happy.

I know the ectasy of your heart’s wings
When they make love against the Sky.

Something divine happens to the
Heart

That
Shapes the hand and tongue
And eye into
The world
Love.

I cannot sit still with my countrymen in chains.
I cannot act mute
Hearing the world’s loneliness
Crying near the Beloved’s heart.

Love Is the Funeral Pyre

Love is
The funeral pyre
Where I have laid my living body.

All the false notions of myself
That once caused fear, pain,

Have turned to ash
As I neared God.

What has risen
From the tangled web of thought and sinew

Now shines with jubilation
Through the eyes of angels

And screams from the guts of
Infinite existence
Itself.

Love is the funeral pyre
Where the heart must lay
Its body.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,

Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

The Vintage Man

The
Difference
Between a good artist
And a great one

Is:

The novice
Will often lay down his tool
Or brush

Then pick up an invisible club
On the mind’s table

And helplessly smash the easels and
Jade.

Whereas the vintage man
No longer hurts himself or anyone

And keeps on
Sculpting
Light.

Indeed God
Has written a thousand promises
All over your heart

That say,
Life, life, life
Is far to sacred to
Ever end.

Blessing Like Ammachi

The following passage is from Cunt: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio. If you’re a woman and have never read this book, you don’t know what you’re missing:

“Ammachi is a woman from India who comes to America and has these ashram things. The first time I went to her ashram thing, I had no idea what it was about. I saw a bunch of mostly white people dressed in white clothes who bugged me with their “Oh, I am so very holy and drink herbal tea constantly” vibration.

“But the music was amazing.

“Ammachi sat in the front of the room on a bunch of pillows. Musicians, attendants, children and flowers surrounded her. Thousands of flowers, like when Princess Diana died. She sat there with her eyes closed, and chanted. Probably, she was meditating. Wearing a flowing white sari, she was covered with chiffon, silk, everything soft and whispery. I figured she understood the concept of an ashram far better than I, so I did the same as her. Closed my eyes, sat and listened.

“This lasted a long time, but like in a dream, I don’t know how many minutes and hours passed.

“Then there were the rustling sounds of people standing up. I opened my eyes. Everyone was forming a double-file line that led to Ammachi.

“My friends told me she was gonna bless people, so we queued up. The line was very, very long, snaking throughout the entire large building we were in. If it had been a line at the post office that I absolutely had to stand in for some reason or another, I woulda sold my soul to the person in front to give me cuts. But this line was different. The music and nice quiet felt good. Being blessed by an incarnationg of the Goddess is also much more alluring than overnighting IRS forms.

“Before I knew it, I was next.

“An attendant led me to her and kinda helped me kneel down right. Ammachi seized me gently – if you can imagine that – and pulled me into her lap. She cradled me, murmuring sweet chanting sounds into my ear. Her body engulfed mine and I relaxed – almost melted – into her. My face buried in her shoulder and neck, I breathed in her smell.

“This is when I really, truly started to freak on the wonder of Ammachi. After holding hundreds of people in this manner, you would think she’d start to kinda stink. I was nowhere near the beginning of the line. The sun set and went down, down, down, down to Australia while I stood in that line. A lot of people were in her arms before me, but the woman smelled like flowers. Not perfumey at all. Like if you covered every inch of your bedroom floor with freshly cut bouquets of jasmine, gardenia, roses, yacinth, carnations, sweet peas and freesia is what she smelled like. And this smell wasn’t coming from the flowers around her, it exuded from her skin, the fabrics of her sari and veils. It filled my whole body, permeated my pores. Her smell made me so giddy the attendant had to help me stand back up again. She stared deeply into my eyes and pressed flower petals and chocolate kisses into my hand.

“I stumbled away like a drunk.

…

“For a whole week afterwards, my entire apartment smelled like Ammachi. Everywhere I went, I smelled her smell. Walking down the street with one of my friends, the smell of Ammachi would assail me. I’d go “Damn, do you smell that?” And my friend’d go, “Car exhaust? What?”

“As Ammachi’s smell faded from my life, I started thinking about what happened when she blessed me.

“It was the first time in my life I felt loved. Physically, emotionally, psychically, spiritually, deeply loved from the epidermis of my skin that featured a couple of ugly zits, to the core of my heart that is still traumatized by the death of my brother, abortions, meanspirited lovergirls and other nasty hurts. It is a consciousness-broadening freak-out to feel love in this way.”

***

I want to be like Ammachi – not in particulars, but in general – I want to love so deeply it pours out of me in a physical scent manifestation.

I have a vision of myself radiating light, warmth, comfort and the scent of roses, past judgement, past fear and full of gentle power.

Part of the Whole

Two books I’ve been reading lately have been very helpful in cementing my ideas about right living: The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering – 100 Days of Healing by Deepak Chopra. The wisdom of Marcus Aurelius is amazing:

All things are woven together and the common bond is sacred, and scarcely one thing is foreign to another, for they have been arranged together in their places and together make the same ordered Universe. For there is one Universe out of all, one God through all, one substance and one law, one common Reason of all intelligent creatures and one Truth.
Frequently consider the connection of all things in the universe.
We should not say ‘I am an Athenian’ or ‘I am a Roman’ but ‘I am a citizen of the Universe.

…

Constantly think of the Universe as one living creature, embracing one being and one soul; how all is absorbed into the one consciousness of this living creature; how it compasses all things with a single purpose, and how all things work together to cause all that comes to pass, and their wonderful web and texture.

His perspective on how we are all part of the Whole and how we find meaning in that has helped me be willing to accept pain and change and “bad” things much more cheerfully; I also feel more confident and humble, knowing that I’m just here to help. It’s been part of re-inspiring me to blog on May’s Machete again, because I quit because it was a pain to me, but I’m going to start again because I believe it can be a means of effecting change in my city. Although, I didn’t understand how powerful a tool it was and the “big guns” on the local internets freaked out about my leaving.

The Deeper Wound is also helping me be more willing to give of myself both by leading me to feel more connected with my True Self and the Source, both of which are all about the loving and giving that I’m finding more easy to access with each day.  This book offers 100 affirmations to create create healing and to bring one to their True Self. These are the ones I’ve experienced so far:

My soul can lead me to healing. I will become one with my true self.

At this moment my soul is with me. It is a s close as my breath.

My soul is outside and inside. The light is everywhere.

My soul is my self. It knows me and hears me.

My true need is to know myself as my soul knows me.

My soul knows me as complete and whole.

My soul knows me as gentle.

My soul knows me as peaceful.

My soul knows me as lacking nothing.

My soul knows me as joyful because I am free.

I will see everyone else as I see myself.

I will nurture every need but one – the need to judge others.

I will not resist others.

I will not resist myself.

My true self responds with love.

I will see one thing today as if for the first time.

The last one was today’s and on my walk to work this morning, I was thinking about it and had just started a prayer to my guides when they drew my attention to a gumball tree. I grew up in a house with a gumball tree in the front yard, so I’ve seen them A LOT, but this one was bare of leaves with just a few gumballs hanging on it and I thought “They look just like little Christmas ornaments!” – something I’ve never thought while looking at the tree and I gained a new depth of appreciation for it’s beauty. I had to laugh and thank my guides that they were quick as the speed of my thought to show me what I was hoping to see today.

I’ve been lavishing myself with love and being able to watch that love flow over to others is making me very happy. Alternatively, remembering I am part of the Whole helps me feel happy even when I’m not feeling great about myself, because the Universe is so full of wonder and excitement and I get to be a part of it!