Posts filed under ‘family’
Dear fellow light-workers, Today I was at Pershing State Park in Laclede MO, and the guardian angel of the park gave me a mantra to share with y’all: “We are in harmony, acting as one.” The angel asked that we say this mantra 324 times each day (108 x 3) until the shift of 12/12/12. ♥
Recently, Reiki Master Julie Bowen gave Henry and I the Reiki 2 attunement. It was a different sensation and experience than the first attunement. The energy felt deeper and more complex. I saw an image of myself holding Henry, our actually what looked like a night sky full of stars in the shape of my baby, and I received the message that to nurture one is to nurture all.
Since then I have become acquainted with my Reiki spirit guide, who, interestingly enough, looks like the creature pictured on the cover of this book (pictured). That image fascinated and drew me when I was young and now I know why. Interacting with this guide has changed my mentality about Reiki in many small ways that I find impossible to put into words. I arm grateful for and fascinated by this spiritual adventure.
I created a baptismal ritual for Henry that my partner helped me carry out under the full moon. I opened the circle with salt, sage and a knife, lit a candle and incense and read the following invocation/blessing/prayer, during which I baptized Henry with water, then blessed him with a crystal and lotus oil. I closed the circle by walking it 3x while ringing a bell to thank and dismiss the entities who attended us.
Baptism Ritual for Henry:
Hail to the Guardians of the Above, Below and Within, the Neteru of Egypt: Isis, Nepthys, Bast, Anubis, Osiris, Ptah, Khosu, Nekhbet-Mother-Mut, Set, Horus, Hathor, Khnum, Nut, Geb, and Ma’at. We ask that you evoke the power and potential of Henry’s spirit, that he may fulfill the Divine Plan and be a blessing to all he meets.
(Face North) Hail to the Guardians of the North who hold the foundations of the Earth. We ask the Earth to connect Henry with pas wisdom, with beauty, with peace, and with the season of change.
(Face East) Hail to the Guardians of the East, sender of the winds. We ask the Air to give Henry access to enlightened communication, words of power, music, poetry, and laughter.
(Face South) Hail to the Guardians of the South who hold the Sacred Flame. We ask that Fire to activate the power of protection, faith, confidence and courage within Henry’s life.
(Face West) Hail to the Guardians of the West, Keepers of the Seas. (Baptize) We ask the Waters to attune Henry to the divine energies of the multiverse: the Buddha Nature, the Christ Consciousness, Krishna Vision, the Violet Flame, Reiki, Yggdrasill, Luna, Gaia, and the Golden Light within which we all merge as ONE.
(Bless with lotus oil & quartz crystal)
May he find his voice,
May he speak his truth,
May he walk the spiral path of the soul warrior with love, compassion,
wisdom, courage, faith, patience and forgiveness for himself and others.
May we as his parents guide him from the enlightened perspective of our Higher Selves.
May we be transformed by the sacrifices we make into our Best Selves.
I ask the gods and goddesses, Bujddhas and bodhisattvas, Earth, stars, angels (Gabriel, Michael, Uriah the Healer and the rest), fairies (especially Princess Aquazephyr and Foxy’s family), Saint Germain, MAlachi and all enlightened beings to bless and lead us each day of our lives.
Amen, amen and amen.
So mote it be.
My partner and I were joined in marriage this Saturday. At a recent Heart Blessing where Saint Germain was channelled, he asked to attend and to bring friends with him. Of course, I said yes, and during the closing prayer as I closed my eyes, I saw/felt the yard full of entities there to bless our marriage.
It was also a blessing to be able to marry before our child is born – something we weren’t sure was going to happen. There seemed something so right about our child being at the event as well, especially because of a recent soul memory that surfaced for me in a dream. In the memory, my soul was between incarnations in “heaven.” An angel came to me – an angel that I recognized as the soul incarnating as my child – and told me that he had something important for me to see. I was surprised and intrigued as we traveled at the speed of thought to a place I understood as a birthing place for souls. It looked like a quickly spinning galaxy. There were a few other observers there when we arrived. We “stood” there waiting, when suddenly a new soul emerged from the “galaxy” and I understood deeply that this soul had been made specifically for me, to compliment me and to help me grow in my path. I also recognized the soul as the person I just married. In the memory, I fell instantly in love with him – as I did when I saw him in this incarnation. How blessed I am that the soul who introduced us will now be born as our child!
Runes are most commonly used in divination, but they are also helpful meditation tools. Today I’m going to share two recent meditations on the run Inguz. Inguz as a symbol stands for fertility, DNA, reincarnation, lunar & earthly magic, germination, growth, spiritual aspiration and the manipulation of the natural environment. So I was not surprised that both meditations focused on my body, my pregnancy and my energy field.
For runes, the color of activation is always red, so each meditation began with steady breathing, then I imagined the lines of the rune glowing red, as if with fire. The center of the rune opened like a portal of light.
In the first meditation, I went through the Inguz portal and saw a red mist and nothing else at first. I heard a heartbeat that I mistook for my own at first, until I realized that I was inside my own womb where a child currently grows inside me, and that the heartbeat belong to the child. I saw my baby sleeping peacefully in the womb. I energetically cradled it and gave thanks for the vision of my child as healthy and safe.
That was the first meditation, which was rather short.
The next one, started the same way, but when I went through the portal this time, I entered the white bright star which I understood as my own spirit energy. I merged with the light, breathing deeply. I saw it soak into my human body where it touched all parts of me, moving from large organs to the tiny twisting strands of my DNA. Each strand was purified by the light. I saw clouds of darkness leaving my DNA, releasing me from the darkness of past lives and ancestral problems I’d inherited. When I saw my DNA full of light, my inner sight moved me to the child within and its DNA strands, embedding them with light and love through my intention. I saw the unborn child’s body full of light, blessing us both with its brightness. I came back to myself with my hand resting on my baby bump, grateful for the purification of the body that comes through Spirit and grateful for the connection I have with my unborn child.
As I sat before my altar, intoning OM repeatedly, the image of a raven I have there seemed to come alive. I followed it as it flew through mist and over water, then over an ancient forest, where a dove rose up to meet it. The birds dove to the ground and my spirit followed. They perched on a large boulder while I looked around at the nearby cave, lake and surrounding forest, waiting to see what would reveal itself to me.
I didn’t wait long before a tall woman with long black hair, wearing a shining white dress appeared to me. She introduced herself as “The Lady of the Lake,” and I recognized her from a past-life flashback that I’d had earlier this year.
Let me break briefly from my description of this meditation to describe her and our relationship to you:
Aeronwen is a goddess of fate who determines which side wins in battles. She is sometimes associated with Agrona and Morrigan. The raven is sacred to her as is Glyndyfrdwy, Wales, where there is a shrine to her on the river Dee. The name of this location can be translated as “Water of the Goddess.” Allegedly, human sacrifices were offered to her through drowning.
In a vision I had earlier this year, it was revealed to me that many of my lifetimes ago, I was the daughter of a cheiftain, engaged to our tribe’s fiercest warrior who I loved passionately. We were engaged to be married, but our tribe (who lived near Aeronwen’s sacred site) and those around us and our way of life were threatened by Christians invading our lands. One night as I slept, Aeronwen appeared to me, and told me that I could single-handedly save my tribe, my father and my lover from the invaders – at least for a period of several decades, when my father would have passed on and my lover would have passed into old age. The only way this could come to pass, however, was if I sacrificed myself in the lake, allowing myself to drown. When I woke, I shared my dream with my father, and he agreed that it was a true vision, though the idea of my sacrifice saddened him deeply. Knowing I could save my people, I went to the lake and plunged in, forcing myself to let my body sink into the dark water. As I passed from that life, the goddess appeared brilliantly before me, leading me to the heavens.
So when she appeared to me in this recent meditation, I recognized her immediately. She asked me if I remembered meeting her before, and I responded that I did. She then directed me to sit before a small pool of water near the cave, where she wanted me to scry. At first, all I saw was my face and her’s over my shoulder, but then I saw the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, where a seabird who’d landed there looking for scraps had tangled its wing in some plastic and couldn’t break free. Moved with compassion, I prayed for the bird’s freedom and watched as the plastic dissolved and the bird flew away. Then, the vision shifted and I saw a turtle lower down in the patch, swimming through the toxic water, looking for a safe place to go.
As I watched this, the goddess spoke to me, saying that I must not let go of my vision to change the world for the better or to allow myself to think that I am powerless to do so (as I’d been thinking just the day before this happened). She told me to remember that love and passion are the only things that will change the world for the better and that I must be as passionate about helping my human and animal families now as I was about saving my tribe when I sacrificed myself to her. Our animal friends, she said, are adapting as best they can, but they need help from humans to clean habitats, change laws and teach respect for all forms of life.
I thanked her for her wisdom and guidance and the scene disappeared from my mind’s eye and once more I was back in front of my altar.
My friend Darcy and I went to an African Ancestor Root Healing Ritual last night with storyteller, dancer, healer and educator Masankho Banda. Since we were told to bring a blanket and pillow, I thought it would be some deep meditative experience. My expectations were happily upturned and we spent the time doing a series of dance rituals!
We started with a dance of self. Next we danced to welcome and acknowledge the ancestors. Then we danced a dance for each direction, which was amazingly powerful and the directions told me that since they are always present for me and always watching, I should consciously tap into them and their power more often. We danced a dance for welcoming one another that was also a dance to ask for those who need to see us clearly to do so. I cried through a good portion of that, praying for my parents to see me as I am instead of who they have told themselves I am.
Next we danced a dance for our children and all children. I danced thinking of Clarissa and was filled with such great joy as the dance acted out the way parents must help or not help their children and have the wisdom to know which to do when. Afterwards, we talked about the children of the world who are in need. We all blessed the necklace made by a girl with AIDS in Africa who has amazingly reached puberty and I was led to talk about how I was abused as a child and how my life is full of love and light like I would never believe back then, to reaffirm everyone’s hopes that the children of the world in need will find the help they want. While speaking, I suddenly had to gasp to breathe and I started shaking and crying. One of the other women came over to hug me, remind me to breathe and to ground me. We stayed in one another’s arms until I had calmed and the enormous rush of energy had passed through.
Next we did the dance of acceptance. We gathered everything in our past and let it go. Gathered all we are now and let it go, then pulled in future goodness towards us.
We next had a session of meditation laying down with the drum Masankho played for us creating a strong heartbeat for us to follow. My sacral chakra felt very strongly activated and was vibrating in tempo with the drumming. I still feel the transformation most strongly there. I woke up and noticed how light and airy it and my energy feel. I know I let go of somethings and felt some blocks in my mind and body had been cleared away.
We ended with a dance to thank the ancestors and allow them to go back to what they were doing.
The night ended with lots of hugs and thank yous and extremely positive energy. I am so glad I went!!! I can’t believe I almost didn’t. Masankho will be back in town in November so I look forward to seeing what other opportunities will arise.
Last night I went to my second Joey Klein Singing Bowls event, where Joey Klein – an energetic master – leads one in guided meditation to the sound of crystal bowls being played. The crystal affects your energetic body in awesome ways and the meditations have so far both led me to have really joyous visions where my guides were actively interacting with the meditation and my higher self in a way that is new to me.
This time, as we were led to follow a great beam of light I was met part way by an energetic body. At first I was confused since I knew I was supposed to keep going, but this being had stopped me. Then I recognized her as a guide, bowed to her and asked her to help me continue on my way and off we went!
We were led to the “womb of creation” where I met Krishna as an incarnation of Vishnu greet us. We all held hands and danced around in this womb which was also a garden. (Krishna’s been on my mind a lot lately, since I‘ve been chanting his name and the image of the flute I’ve been seeing as a pillar of strength also is associated with him, since he plays a flute. I’ve seen a couple statues around locally and I plan to get one to further invite him into my life).
Then we sat together by a small pool and watched the rest of the guided meditation happening through it. The meditation was to see ourselves as an infant of light taking on human form, being born and knowing ourselves as light. In the past, I’ve only felt sorrow when thinking on my birth because my mother decided she didn’t want me after the doctors told her I was a boy, and being the way she is, she just never really changed her mind. So the thought of being unwanted in the womb always grieved me before.
But this time, watching it happen in the garden/womb of creation with a guide and Krishna with me, I was totally okay with it. I saw myself as being born into the life that would mold who I needed to be and I didn’t attach anything further to it and I was happy and content to simply be.
It was a wonderful gift and I feel blessed. Also, the more I trust in my guides, the more they help me. It’s marvelous to feel so supported in all ways. It’s something I’ve really longed for in my life and didn’t think I could have. But, of course, I already had it and didn’t realize.
It’s been a rough few weeks for me. My girlfriend and her husband came to visit, which was a wonderful experience and the Universe showed me once again just how truly perfect she and I are for one another and how wonderfully our weaknesses and strengths compliment one another and our relationships with our mens.
On the other hand, they arrived the same day my Uncle, my mom’s brother, died in a freak construction accident. I had a strange relationship with my Uncle. He was the only older family member I had who understood that the Universe was concious and who could talk to trees like I do. The stories he told me about his life and about my family went a long, long way towards explaining who I am and how I fit in with my family, making many things that seemed totally strange suddenly familiar knowing that they rested in my DNA.
Unfortunately, he was also an alcoholic, selfish jerk who often made inappropriate comments to me and who tried to rape me. I didn’t have a relationship with him after I tried to talk to him about it and he refused to acknowledge any wrong. Because of this and because it was his own not taking care of himself behaviour that was part of what made him such a jerk that caused his death, I had a lot of anger to process towards him.
I’ve talked to his spirit several times since, working towards full forgiveness and healing, but I don’t think it’s a process that will happen easily, especially since he’s the first person in my life I really cared about who has died. Also, I keep checking my chakras for damage from him and finding knives stuck in my lower three chakras, though I keep working to remove them and heal… not really sure what it will take except just time, which seems to be the greatest healer of all.
On top of this, my grandmother, my dad’s mom died. This didn’t really effect me emotionally since grandma has always been completely insane and I had no relationship with her. She’s the reason my dad hates women, which is somewhat understandable since she tried to kill him and his siblings many times, but it’s still a difficult legacy to live with and contributed to so much of what made my childhood absolute hell on earth.
The funerals were both this weekend and it was extremely trying for me. I haven’t talked to my parents because they haven’t had any interest in trying to repair our relationship and I made it clear to them via a sibling that I wouldn’t talk to them until they did. I renigged on that a bit since I was led by my guides to move towards healing (although they’re the one’s who also made me give up completely on having a relationship with them… they like when I give up so they can do the unexpected, I’m learning) and talked to both my mom and my dad slightly.
Of course, they’re trying to pretend like nothing has been wrong between us and treat me the same as always, which is really poorly. It’s especially painful right now because mom is so in love with these two married and pregnant/just delivered a baby cousins of mine… and my parents really don’t give a shit about their kids at all. We all know it, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I really held on to meditation, yoga and chanting to get me through. With the way my emotions and energy were buffetted around, I can’t imagine how awful it would have been if I’d been trying to get through without my practice!
I’ve very grateful to my guides and the Universe for making me strong enough to deal with this. I’m still seeking their wisdom on what to do with my parents. But I know that they’ll show my path as I need to walk it and I can trust in that. I’m also grateful to them for the healing in the relationships with my sisters. We got along this weekend like we haven’t in 8 or 9 years. It was such a wonderful gift!
Oh! One last awesome thing that happened before the funerals! Because of that shaman book I was reading, I met the power animal guides for each of my chakras! They are (from crown chakra to base): dolphin, raven, fox, penguin, peacock, rabbit, snake. After meeting them, I now see my chakras as globes containing gardens in which my animals live and frolic and where I can visit with them for wisdom or comfort. The vixen in my heart has been especially comforting during this time.
With all the crazy energy circulating lately I’ve been ruminating on past lessons, gleaning more from them now that I did at the time.
For instance, one of the most powerful prophetic dreams I’ve ever had was a warning/promise about my eventual marriage and the way it would require an incredible amount out of me. The dream consisted largely of my wandering around in a strange city that looked like Greek ruins being stared at by people in togas as I walked around half searching for something, half running from a pursuer, all the while with blood pouring out of deep gashes in my wrists, elbows, throat, etc… but I’m partly made of marble myself so all that blood loss doesn’t really affect me. The lesson from that I didn’t see before was that even when I thought I was at my weakest, the essential part of me was never changed or damaged by the experience.
I gained acceptance of the flower for my birth month (September/aster) that I always used to dislike as a kid by finding an aster blooming in my belly. Turns out the aster stands for love and patience, two really big ongoing themes in my life.
I’m also re-learning just how perfect for me my darling partner is. I’ve been realizing that what sets him apart from my other lovers (besides being incredibly more awesome and caring) is his ability to dream with me about a shared future and to work towards making that a reality. That was missing in all my other relationships and it made them seem lifeless to me after a while. If you can’t grow together, you’re just dying a little bit each day. This lesson was driven further home for me today by the daily email from DailyOm talking about squirrel energy. My partner is the squirrel to my tree (also my penguin and fellow rabbity-thing – which is what the above triptych is about) and reading this made me so happy, because it just shows me another way in which to rejoice in how he’s so perfect for me:
Affirming an Abundant Future
Native Americans considered all living beings as brothers and sisters that had much to teach including squirrels. These small creatures taught them to work in harmony with the cycles of nature by conserving for the winter months during times when food was plentiful. In our modern world, squirrels remind us to set aside a portion of our most precious resources as an investment in the future. Though food and money certainly fall into this category, they are only some of the ways our energy is manifested. We can conserve this most valuable asset by being aware of the choices we make and choosing only those that nurture and sustain us. This extends to the natural resources of our planet as well, using what we need wisely with the future in mind.
Saving and conservation are not acts of fear but rather affirmations of abundance yet to come. Squirrels accept life’s cycles, allowing them to face winters with the faith that spring will come again. Knowing that change is part of life, we can create a safe space, both spiritually and physically, that will support us in the present and sustain us in the future. This means not filling our space with things, or thoughts, that don’t serve us. Without hoarding more than we need, we keep ourselves in the cyclical flow of life when we donate our unwanted items to someone who can use them best. This allows for more abundance to enter our lives, because even squirrels know a life of abundance involves more than just survival.
Squirrels use their quick, nervous energy to enjoy life’s adventure. They are great communicators, and by helping each other watch for danger, they do not allow worry to drain them. Instead, they allow their curious nature to lead the way, staying alert to opportunities and learning as they play. Following the example set by our squirrel friends, we are reminded to enjoy the journey of life’s cycles as we plan and prepare for a wonderful future, taking time to learn and play along the way. (Source)
I also re-realized why I can’t have a relationship with my parents, especially my mother. I need to foster emotional health and healing for myself in order to share it with others and being near my mother is like having a raptor shred my heart relentlessly and that’s not something I can heal from and still have energy to do everything else I must do to function in this life. I think this has helped me finally accept that I can’t expect support to come from my parents, as I’d always wistfully hoped would happen in a perfect world where they would accept me for who I am.
I’ve also learned to accept that mine is a path of struggle that will probably be bloodied emotionally over and over again, but I’m big enough to handle it. I’ve been able to see things and respond with “well, here’s a new challenge” instead of the self-pitying and shaking my fist to fate that I used to waste my energy on.
My many issues with child birth (which was linked to my creativity in many ways) that you may remember if you’ve been reading this blog a while have come compltely full-circle and now I’ m waiting with joyous anticipation for the time when the Universe will let me know that we’re ready to bring the little soul, who’s already waiting for her new life to begin, into this material plane. I recently watched Orgasmic Birth, a documentary showing real births where women are beautifully transported into ectasy while delivering children and it was so beautiful and powerful that I cried through most of it. I know the Universe and I will be working on making my childbirth glorious like that and I’m excited to see the changes that this single goal is working in my life and mind.
Generally I’m just happy that I seem to finally have my life in balance, that I’m contributing to my community and creating a beautiful life I love. The recent shifts are really doing amazing things for me. I hope you’re able to enjoy it too.