Hafiz’s Gift

I’ve been feeling very tired, emotionally drained and unsupported lately. But something that has been bringing me comfort and moments of joy is The Gift, a book of poetry by the Sufi Master Hafiz. I tend to write down inspiring or touching things that I read. The selections below are all handwritten into my journal; all are taken from The Gift, some are full poems and some just fragments:

We Have Not Come to Take Prisoners

We have not come here to take prisoners
But to surrender ever more deeply
To freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
To hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run, my dear
From anything
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.

…

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits,

But to experience ever and more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom, and LIGHT!

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe
Me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

Like
A pair
Of mismatched newlyweds
One of whom still feels very insecure,
I keep turning to God
Saying,
“Kiss
Me.”

When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes:

To love more,
And be happy.

I know the ectasy of your heart’s wings
When they make love against the Sky.

Something divine happens to the
Heart

That
Shapes the hand and tongue
And eye into
The world
Love.

I cannot sit still with my countrymen in chains.
I cannot act mute
Hearing the world’s loneliness
Crying near the Beloved’s heart.

Love Is the Funeral Pyre

Love is
The funeral pyre
Where I have laid my living body.

All the false notions of myself
That once caused fear, pain,

Have turned to ash
As I neared God.

What has risen
From the tangled web of thought and sinew

Now shines with jubilation
Through the eyes of angels

And screams from the guts of
Infinite existence
Itself.

Love is the funeral pyre
Where the heart must lay
Its body.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,

Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

The Vintage Man

The
Difference
Between a good artist
And a great one

Is:

The novice
Will often lay down his tool
Or brush

Then pick up an invisible club
On the mind’s table

And helplessly smash the easels and
Jade.

Whereas the vintage man
No longer hurts himself or anyone

And keeps on
Sculpting
Light.

Indeed God
Has written a thousand promises
All over your heart

That say,
Life, life, life
Is far to sacred to
Ever end.

Part of the Whole

Two books I’ve been reading lately have been very helpful in cementing my ideas about right living: The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering – 100 Days of Healing by Deepak Chopra. The wisdom of Marcus Aurelius is amazing:

All things are woven together and the common bond is sacred, and scarcely one thing is foreign to another, for they have been arranged together in their places and together make the same ordered Universe. For there is one Universe out of all, one God through all, one substance and one law, one common Reason of all intelligent creatures and one Truth.
Frequently consider the connection of all things in the universe.
We should not say ‘I am an Athenian’ or ‘I am a Roman’ but ‘I am a citizen of the Universe.

…

Constantly think of the Universe as one living creature, embracing one being and one soul; how all is absorbed into the one consciousness of this living creature; how it compasses all things with a single purpose, and how all things work together to cause all that comes to pass, and their wonderful web and texture.

His perspective on how we are all part of the Whole and how we find meaning in that has helped me be willing to accept pain and change and “bad” things much more cheerfully; I also feel more confident and humble, knowing that I’m just here to help. It’s been part of re-inspiring me to blog on May’s Machete again, because I quit because it was a pain to me, but I’m going to start again because I believe it can be a means of effecting change in my city. Although, I didn’t understand how powerful a tool it was and the “big guns” on the local internets freaked out about my leaving.

The Deeper Wound is also helping me be more willing to give of myself both by leading me to feel more connected with my True Self and the Source, both of which are all about the loving and giving that I’m finding more easy to access with each day.  This book offers 100 affirmations to create create healing and to bring one to their True Self. These are the ones I’ve experienced so far:

My soul can lead me to healing. I will become one with my true self.

At this moment my soul is with me. It is a s close as my breath.

My soul is outside and inside. The light is everywhere.

My soul is my self. It knows me and hears me.

My true need is to know myself as my soul knows me.

My soul knows me as complete and whole.

My soul knows me as gentle.

My soul knows me as peaceful.

My soul knows me as lacking nothing.

My soul knows me as joyful because I am free.

I will see everyone else as I see myself.

I will nurture every need but one – the need to judge others.

I will not resist others.

I will not resist myself.

My true self responds with love.

I will see one thing today as if for the first time.

The last one was today’s and on my walk to work this morning, I was thinking about it and had just started a prayer to my guides when they drew my attention to a gumball tree. I grew up in a house with a gumball tree in the front yard, so I’ve seen them A LOT, but this one was bare of leaves with just a few gumballs hanging on it and I thought “They look just like little Christmas ornaments!” – something I’ve never thought while looking at the tree and I gained a new depth of appreciation for it’s beauty. I had to laugh and thank my guides that they were quick as the speed of my thought to show me what I was hoping to see today.

I’ve been lavishing myself with love and being able to watch that love flow over to others is making me very happy. Alternatively, remembering I am part of the Whole helps me feel happy even when I’m not feeling great about myself, because the Universe is so full of wonder and excitement and I get to be a part of it!

Falling Into Place

Little pieces of my life are falling into place for me. My boyfriend and I have to move from our current apartment, which caused me a great deal of sadness, but after I expressed that and remained open to possiblities, we found a great place I will be happy to move into that’s run by our same landlords, which is important to me because I’ve had some really crappy landords and I like being able to trust them. Plus, this takes off several stresses usually related to living in a new place: credit checks, deposits, etc.  The other part of this is that we didn’t want to move far from where we already live and the new place is less than 2 blocks away! The Universe was so nice to provide this for us. And I even get the front porch and hard wood floors I wanted!

Another puzzle piece involves my personal divination. I got into Tarot cards, bought my own set which the guy I was with (now my ex) immediately started pawing over and over and over. It upset me a lot because I knew he was soaking it with his negative energies and screwing with it, but he ignored my request as selfish and kept using them for “research” and I never got good readings with them. After another guy came over and similarly dishonored me (on purpose) by messing with my cards, I understood that I just needed to get rid of that deck completely because it would never work for me.  I did this but didn’t get another set of cards, feeling upset about the experience overall and how the cards didn’t seem to ever communicate well with me and vice versa. I wanted another method of divination, but no matter how much I love the runes, it makes no sense to me to use them for divination. So I haven’t had anything for a while, and of course, this is something I also just opened myself up to possibility for, since I knew I couldn’t come up with anything on my own.  And my beautiful girlfriend answered that need in my life by sending me a lovely crystal divination set. It actually works like runic divination in that you throw the crystals and get insight from where they land combined with the nature of the crystal itself (there’s 5). Not only is this totally awesome that my love of crystals can now enter into my divination practice, but it’s also awesome because I’ve never had another woman gift me a spiritual object. A relationship close enough to share spirituality is something I’ve hoped for and actually having it in my life is a blessing.

Something else that is just great (I think the Universe is trying to help me see how much those close to me support me) is that my brother finally remembered to buy me a Christmas present like he said he would. He brought it over last night and I’d asked for a stone or crystal of some sort and he bought me a large Shiva stone (like the one pictured at the beginning of this post)! I’ve had a small one since last year, but having a large one that I can hold onto with both hands is something else. Shiva stones are supposedly the stones with the highest vibration of any on Earth and having one in my room and on my altar feels extremely comforting, especially since it was gifted in love.

Living in Flow

As I‘ve been working the past several weeks to open and live through my heart chakra, rather than my ego, I’ve noticed a beautiful blossoming of love for myself and for every other person and creature and plant.  My heart has opened to the idea of fairies, thanks in part to encountering angels, and other benficial energetic beings that I was closed to before.  My love for my family has overwhelmed any of the bad feelings normally caused when I think of them and instead my love and desire for their happiness and joy has let me finally feel at peace about my relationships with them.  I can finally accept that they won’t change because I’ve accepted that I will always love them anyway.

I have also become amazingly aware of the god/goddess in everyone, which has also been a help in approaching people with love instead of judgement.  It’s amazing how free and easy I feel. It’s as if I was trying to make myself responsible for other people before instead of just spending my energy on myself.  Now that I’m focused on simply being me, walking my path, and performing my part in the experience of life as I know only I can, everything is coming to me with ease and joy.  I’m no longer putting excruciating effort into the simplest things.  I can finally let go and let it be and be joyful in experiencing just being.

It has been a beautiful gift that has increased my gratitude towards other light and energy beings and my fellow travelers in this world.  I have felt so in the flow instead of fighting against the current and it’s amazing how far you can go when you simply relax and let it take you!

Thank you to all of you who have shared your experiences with me and let them help me finally have the courage to be myself and live in love.  I am deeply grateful for your investment in my life.

Mary, Queen of Heaven

My favorite goddesses are sky goddesses (I blame my spacey way of thinking) and thanks to my ex, I got into Mary worship, which is about as close as I get to christianity these days.  But, since recent issues with my very strict crazy baptist parents have made me more grouchy than usual at the Xian gods, I decided I was going to re-write the Hail Mary for myself.  I did this because many women through the years have prayed this prayer to Mary and I think there is so much power in it because of that.  I tried to keep my version similar, but it’s definitely MY prayer now and not that of the catholic church:

Hail Mary, full of grace,
Please be with me.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
Holy Mary, mother of mystery,
Be with your daughter,
Now and when I most need love.
Amen.

You can read the original version here.

If you like my version, please feel free to use it!  I’d love to have others imbuing it with power — I’m a big believer in the power of our collective consciousness.

I-Ching Reading

  Your Question: How can I create my community?

Your Present Hexagram

Great receptivity attracts exceptional results. A natural responsiveness brings about success through support and perseverance, rather than through bold action. Thus, the wise person demonstrates strength like a powerful but gentle mare. This hexagram, consisting of all yin lines, represents a power of the feminine principle no longer honored in our modern world, but such receptivity is most auspicious.

The receptive force is sensual as well as powerful, and it can be missed by too much talk and planning. When spring comes, does the grass “plan” to grow? This is a time to concentrate on realities rather than potentials – with how to respond to a situation rather than how to direct it. The mature mare lets herself be guided by a higher power, and is skilled at graceful acceptance. In a strong spiritual way, her quiet contribution is most effective, and brings success.

Do not be too assertive at this time, for if you try to direct things, you are liable to become confused or alienated. Take your time. Draw strength from carefulness and you will be doubly fortunate. Focus more on feeling than on action. Be broad and deep in your attitudes so that you can accept everything that comes your way with grace and equanimity. Be receptive and spacious like the ocean; let the river of changing developments flow to you. Allow others to take the lead for now. Strive for a pure natural responsiveness that is based on inner strength rather than outer show.

© Tarot.com 2008

Medicine Brother Song

Hear my words, oh Brother Warrior.
Let them ring bright and true.
The time is now, to be your vision,
For the world has need of you.

Ride the wind, oh peaceful warrior,
To the place that holds your pain.
Release the hurt that stops your vision,
Then open wide to love again.

We can dream with our Ancestors,
We can greet the Morning Star.
Together we can find the way,
To be proud of who we are,
To become the visions that we are.

So sail high, my Eagle Dancer,
Circle through the winds of change;
So walk free, my vision seeker,
Feel and heal and love again.

Then stand tall, my spirit warrior,
Glory in the light you seed.
Then dream on, my heart healer.
The love inside is all you need.
The love inside is all you need.

From Earth Medicine: Ancestors’ Ways of Harmony for Many Moons by Jamie Sams (which is a daily devotional type book that follows the cycles of the moon).

More Affirmations

I’ve added two more affirmations to my daily routine:

I respect myself unconditionally right now

..and…

I am intending vibrant health.

I felt moved to add both from reading Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, which, if you’re sick of hearing about, you’ll be happy to know that I finished reading it today and probably won’t be quoting from it any more. On the other hand, if you liked what you’ve read from/heard about it, I suggest you pick up your own copy. It’s a very powerful book.

Affirmations

I have two affirmations that I repeat to myself daily.  The first is:

The knowledge that I seek is within myself awaiting my question.

The second is:

All that is alive is alive in us and all is alive.

I haven’t been using these long enough to really notice significant effects.  Especially the second one as I just added that to my daily routine about 3 days ago.  I’ve noticed a feeling of security has developed for me after using the first because I am able to trust that my body-wisdom and my brain will be able to help me work out my issues in a way and on a timeline that doesn’t cause me an excessive amount of stress.  And that is a nice thing to have.

What kind of affirmations do you use daily or otherwise?  What have been the results?

The Universe Says…

The Universe told me that I’m not allowed to stop writing poetry yesterday.  It’s a cute story and I’ll tell you in a minute, but first I want to tell one of my Uncle’s stories about the conscious nature of the Universe.  And, more specifically, the Universe’s willingness to answer an honest question, which is a big part of how I make certain decisions.

MY UNCLE’S STORY or THE UNIVERSE ANSWERS ‘YES’

My Uncle used to travel all over the country.  Part of what he was doing was searching for answers to his questions, and the question that he burned to know the answer to was this: Is the Universe Conscious?  And in a town he’d never been in before on the stairs of the train station, a little girl with blond hair walked up to him.  She handed him a folded piece of paper, saying that it was for him.  When he opened the note, it simply said “Yes.”  And that’s how my Uncle knew the Universe was Conscious.

I don’t have a cool story like that, but I do believe that the Consciousness of the Universe is important.  Partly just because it’s part of how I believe that everything will eventually turn out for good and partly because knowing that helps me to ask the Universe for answers when I can’t find them from anywhere else.   Which leads me to my poetry story:

HOW THE UNIVERSE TOLD ME TO WRITE MORE POETRY

Recently I’ve been writing more and more, but it’s all been blogging.  I like blogging a lot, but it’s not the same kind of satisfaction that comes from writing poetry for me.  However, I haven’t been inspired at all to write any for several months now, and any time that happens I start doubting if I should try and write any more ever or if I should just give up the idea of being a poet which seems sillier and sillier to me each year.  However, I always have a feeling in the back of my head that the Universe won’t let me quit so I always try to calm myself when this doubt springs up and wait for a sign.

I had been posting new poetry for a while on deviantArt and someone commented a while back that I was so good I should join some poetry contest or other.  I looked at the link they left and it was for poetry.com’s contest which I’d entered once before when I was a lot younger and a whole lot worse at writing.  So partially to see what I’d win now that I was freaking awesome at poetry, I entered.  And forgot all about it until yesterday.  I received a package in the mail from poetry.com informing me that I’d placed 3rd in the contest and awarding me a ceremonial coin or whatever.

In my interpretation, that’s the Universe saying that I’m not allowed to forget about my ability even if I want to.  I’m so puzzled because I really don’t feel that MY poetry is helpful in the world right now and what I’m doing at work and in my blog is actually somewhat urgent.  I am waiting for the day when my poetry can be useful and part of me still thinks that day will never come.  But, the part of me that is trusting trusts that everything happens for a reason… even my piddly poetry compositions.