Rainbow Light, Flower Chakras

"Watering the Heart's Garden"

At what I hope will be the beginning of a weekly meditation session, two friends and we meditated together using Joey Klein’s (of the Institute of Transformational Studies) Mental Body guided meditation.

It was incredible because it was raining and the storm transformed itself along with our meditation session. The storm got heavier as we gathered energy and two different times when we pulled down energy the storm accompanied us with lightening and thunder!

At one point, we were told to imagine energy like water pouring down into our crown chakras. The image that immediately popped into my mind was of my drawing (above) and I saw my guardian angel pouring light into my crown chakra out of a pitcher and could feel it flowing like water around the fluttering petals of my chakra (more about that in a moment).

The other amazing image I was gifted was when we were being guided to work with our guardian angels. I saw mine as hosting a banquet for me, and he was feeding me fruit that was glowing with different colors of light, relating to the chakras. I felt so nourished and refreshed afterwards! My energetic body has been showing itself as a rainbow embracing me lately and these two images greatly encouraged that.

Later that weekend I was sketching and was given an image in which flowers relate to each chakra. The way in which I see it (and this is greatly influenced by my personal relationships with these flowers), the root chakra is an aster, the sacral is a tiger lily, the solar plexus is a gerbera daisy, the heart chakra is a lotus, the throat and third eye are roses and the crown is also a lotus. I have plans for a big art project involving this and it will probably inform a lot more of my stuff besides.

Anyway, all of that is to tell you about the lovely little meditation I had this morning. I was pulling energy into each chakra, imagining the color associated with it as well as the flower. After I reached my crown chakra, I once again pulled down energy from the sky and experienced it as water flowing over the petals of each flower/chakra and it was amazing how comforting and soothing and refreshing it felt.

I feel the Universe loving on me big time lately. It’s exciting to pass on to others.

Plus I’m just super excited about my flower chakras! woo!

Blood & Stone

Something different for you…. a short story I wrote that is kinda morality tale about respecting the Earth… Hope you enjoy!

When Gaia was young, her spirit longed to stretch itself. So plants appeared, birds, insects and animals, fairies, sprites and humans flew or walked across and within her mighty body. Gaia was happy flitting around herself with new eyes and new powers and all the creatures she carried lived in balance and harmony.

But one day a man called Stone became convinced that he had no true connection to the people and things he saw around him or the earth beneath his feet. He began telling the other men they should take from the earth enough in one blow to never need again and so live out their years in ease and pleasure. Together they began widening the cavern from which the people took their precious metal for the sacred rituals of birth, initiation, the change of the seasons, union and death.

They lay Gaia bare and harbored what should have been the wealth of generations for themselves. They stopped tilling, hunting, creating and gathering in favor of buying what they wanted, making the sacred profane and common.

Soon others heard of this state of affairs and they too wanted to have the riches of generations for their own.  They dug up what was precious until it became hard to find and some forced their children into dangerous underground passages to seek out ever more gold to sate their greed, even turning to taking from one another.

The women, who now were doing all the work of being human and caring for the community, became concerned as violence between men and tribes increased. Under the guise of harvest they gathered together in a great field, filling it with laughter and dancing until a wise woman named Blood stood atop a hillock and raised her arms, requesting silence.

When no more sound ran through them than the playful wind, she spoke: “My sisters, we have all seen the shameful changes brought about by lust for owning what is not ours to have. Our children are not protected and our work has doubled while tribes weaken and die. Our precious rituals have been tainted and our sacred source polluted. Gaia is calling out for balance. Blood has been shed and gold stolen. Blood and gold must be returned for her to rest in peace once more.” The council of women agreed it was so.

With their path clear, they returned home, some in silence, others in song or with clapping hands and drum, but all were somber thinking on what must be done. When they returned to the village, they gathered all the gold they could find and placed it in the mouth of their once-sacred cave out of which they could hear the sounds of mining.

When the moon came up, all the women in all the villages joined hands and began to hum a secret tone that caused Gaia to tremble and the stars to halt their endless journey and take note. Upon this, another tone was taken up, then another, until they formed a powerful chord. The women raised their joined hands and wished for deliverance.

Low rumbling sounded beneath them, growing into a roar loud as a sudden tsunami crashing against the shore. The women watched as Gaia reclaimed her sacred caverns. They sank deep into the ground, taking the men with them and leaving large depressions in the ground.

The women bowed down and tanked Gaia, touching their faces to hers as rain began to fall. They let it bathe them together and it filled all the empty spaces left from the sinking cavers with lakes of pure water.

They returned home to find them men who hadn’t been mining terrified, but the women welcomed them as brothers and led them back to the lakes to be purified. But some would not, choosing the wild instead of life with the tribe.

When the earthquakes come now, the women say Gaia is laughing at those who thought to use her as they would. And every spring when the first rains have renewed the lakes, the tribes bathe together in remembrance of what was lost and what was saved.

Part of the Whole

Two books I’ve been reading lately have been very helpful in cementing my ideas about right living: The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and The Deeper Wound: Recovering the Soul from Fear and Suffering – 100 Days of Healing by Deepak Chopra. The wisdom of Marcus Aurelius is amazing:

All things are woven together and the common bond is sacred, and scarcely one thing is foreign to another, for they have been arranged together in their places and together make the same ordered Universe. For there is one Universe out of all, one God through all, one substance and one law, one common Reason of all intelligent creatures and one Truth.
Frequently consider the connection of all things in the universe.
We should not say ‘I am an Athenian’ or ‘I am a Roman’ but ‘I am a citizen of the Universe.

…

Constantly think of the Universe as one living creature, embracing one being and one soul; how all is absorbed into the one consciousness of this living creature; how it compasses all things with a single purpose, and how all things work together to cause all that comes to pass, and their wonderful web and texture.

His perspective on how we are all part of the Whole and how we find meaning in that has helped me be willing to accept pain and change and “bad” things much more cheerfully; I also feel more confident and humble, knowing that I’m just here to help. It’s been part of re-inspiring me to blog on May’s Machete again, because I quit because it was a pain to me, but I’m going to start again because I believe it can be a means of effecting change in my city. Although, I didn’t understand how powerful a tool it was and the “big guns” on the local internets freaked out about my leaving.

The Deeper Wound is also helping me be more willing to give of myself both by leading me to feel more connected with my True Self and the Source, both of which are all about the loving and giving that I’m finding more easy to access with each day.  This book offers 100 affirmations to create create healing and to bring one to their True Self. These are the ones I’ve experienced so far:

My soul can lead me to healing. I will become one with my true self.

At this moment my soul is with me. It is a s close as my breath.

My soul is outside and inside. The light is everywhere.

My soul is my self. It knows me and hears me.

My true need is to know myself as my soul knows me.

My soul knows me as complete and whole.

My soul knows me as gentle.

My soul knows me as peaceful.

My soul knows me as lacking nothing.

My soul knows me as joyful because I am free.

I will see everyone else as I see myself.

I will nurture every need but one – the need to judge others.

I will not resist others.

I will not resist myself.

My true self responds with love.

I will see one thing today as if for the first time.

The last one was today’s and on my walk to work this morning, I was thinking about it and had just started a prayer to my guides when they drew my attention to a gumball tree. I grew up in a house with a gumball tree in the front yard, so I’ve seen them A LOT, but this one was bare of leaves with just a few gumballs hanging on it and I thought “They look just like little Christmas ornaments!” – something I’ve never thought while looking at the tree and I gained a new depth of appreciation for it’s beauty. I had to laugh and thank my guides that they were quick as the speed of my thought to show me what I was hoping to see today.

I’ve been lavishing myself with love and being able to watch that love flow over to others is making me very happy. Alternatively, remembering I am part of the Whole helps me feel happy even when I’m not feeling great about myself, because the Universe is so full of wonder and excitement and I get to be a part of it!

Falling Into Place

Little pieces of my life are falling into place for me. My boyfriend and I have to move from our current apartment, which caused me a great deal of sadness, but after I expressed that and remained open to possiblities, we found a great place I will be happy to move into that’s run by our same landlords, which is important to me because I’ve had some really crappy landords and I like being able to trust them. Plus, this takes off several stresses usually related to living in a new place: credit checks, deposits, etc.  The other part of this is that we didn’t want to move far from where we already live and the new place is less than 2 blocks away! The Universe was so nice to provide this for us. And I even get the front porch and hard wood floors I wanted!

Another puzzle piece involves my personal divination. I got into Tarot cards, bought my own set which the guy I was with (now my ex) immediately started pawing over and over and over. It upset me a lot because I knew he was soaking it with his negative energies and screwing with it, but he ignored my request as selfish and kept using them for “research” and I never got good readings with them. After another guy came over and similarly dishonored me (on purpose) by messing with my cards, I understood that I just needed to get rid of that deck completely because it would never work for me.  I did this but didn’t get another set of cards, feeling upset about the experience overall and how the cards didn’t seem to ever communicate well with me and vice versa. I wanted another method of divination, but no matter how much I love the runes, it makes no sense to me to use them for divination. So I haven’t had anything for a while, and of course, this is something I also just opened myself up to possibility for, since I knew I couldn’t come up with anything on my own.  And my beautiful girlfriend answered that need in my life by sending me a lovely crystal divination set. It actually works like runic divination in that you throw the crystals and get insight from where they land combined with the nature of the crystal itself (there’s 5). Not only is this totally awesome that my love of crystals can now enter into my divination practice, but it’s also awesome because I’ve never had another woman gift me a spiritual object. A relationship close enough to share spirituality is something I’ve hoped for and actually having it in my life is a blessing.

Something else that is just great (I think the Universe is trying to help me see how much those close to me support me) is that my brother finally remembered to buy me a Christmas present like he said he would. He brought it over last night and I’d asked for a stone or crystal of some sort and he bought me a large Shiva stone (like the one pictured at the beginning of this post)! I’ve had a small one since last year, but having a large one that I can hold onto with both hands is something else. Shiva stones are supposedly the stones with the highest vibration of any on Earth and having one in my room and on my altar feels extremely comforting, especially since it was gifted in love.

Getting My Joy Back

I absolutely love dancing.  When I was a little kid I wanted to be a ballerina, but knew I never would be since 1) dancing wasn’t allowed and 2) I wouldn’t be able to afford the training even if it WAS allowed.  After I finally broke out of the Baptist shell, one of the first changes I made to my life was having weekly dance parties with my friends.  I absolutely LOVED it and anyway, what I’m trying to say is dancing is important to me.  I think you get the idea.  Part of my decision the other day is related to my realization that I hadn’t just been happy enough to dance around the apartment since the girl had ended things.  Once I realized that, my decision made itself.  I don’t want to give away my joy and power to someone who doesn’t care about me when I have someone who does right in front of me, so much more worthy of my attention and energy.  And wouldn’t you know it, I’ve since perked up and finally danced around the living room yesterday.  It makes me so happy.

Another realization I had this weekend: I need to concentrate on living from my heart, not my ego.  This realization brought to you by my thinking cranky thoughts about some people, realizing I had no reason to do so except pointless (and ridiculous) judgements I’d made based on their appearance, and then feeling very bad about it because 1) I don’t want to be cranky for no reason, that’s not fun! and 2) I think judging people is one of the biggest issues world wide and I don’t want to contribute to it and be an ass because of it.  So I’m concentrating on opening my heart, keeping my smart ass jerkiness from arising and being willing to give people more of a chance than I have.  There’s no point getting worked up for nothing and I’m much happier when I’m calm.

What Did You Do?

Poem by Drew Dillinger:

It’s 3:23 in the morning
And I’m awake
Because my great great grandchildren
Won’t let me sleep
My great great grandchildren
Ask me in dreams
What did you do while the planet was plundered?
What did you do when the earth was unraveling?

Surely you did something
When the seasons started failing?
As the mammals, reptiles, birds were all dying?

Did you fill the streets with protest
When democracy was stolen?

What did you do
Once
You
Knew?

—

How will you answer?

Happy Spring!

Today is the Spring Equinox and I am celebrating growth and rebirth, represented by Eostre, goddess of fertility & growth.  According to Kidzworld.com:

Eostre is the Pagan holiday that celebrates the return of spring and the balance between light and dark on, or around, the Spring Equinox. Eostre was the Pagan goddess of dawn, fertility and new beginnings. The Christian celebration of Christ’s rebirth, Easter, is also celebrated around this time and got its name from Eostre.

Her symbols are the egg and the hare (sound familiar?) and I plan to celebrate today by using Selena Fox’s suggestion:

Make a growth charm out of a hard-boiled egg — decorate it with symbols, write on it the quality you would like to manifest more fully within yourself, energize it, and then eat it.

I plan to use the Eihwaz, Algiz, and Mannaz runes to call for a community of trust worthy friends who’ve all got each others backs.

Dream Fasting/Fighting

In The Dark Crystal, two  creatures share their memories with each other by “dream fasting.”  It’s an easy way for me to quantify what Karen Bishop calls deciding what we want by communicating on a vibrational level, or what I usually call the working on the collective unconscious.  Anyway, I bring this up because I’ve been having some dreams that have been taxing me heavily and I’ve only now realized that they’re not just dreams I’m having.

On the positive side of this, I’ve been dreaming that I am part of a larger whole doing  spiritual battle for wholeness.  While this is exhausting, I haven’t been alone in my dreams and that has been an amazing experience to tap into.

On the negative side of this, I’ve been battling wills with my mother in my dreams.  She is trying to work her manipulating magic to bring me back into her power, and it’s always been very hard on me because she has so much more practice and will bent towards her task than I ever had power to defend myself before.  But now, her attacks are almost laughable.  Either I’ve grown incredibly in power or self-confidence or else having the support of loving strangers has given me the power to overcome the negative energy she sends my way.

Either way, I’m extremely grateful to my fellow light-workers for their support.

Survivor Needs Meme

Thanks to Romancing the Crone, I found out about this “Survivor Needs” Meme from Survivors Can Thrive!

Rules of the “Survivor Needs” Meme:

• Please link back to this post so people can see the origins of the meme, get ideas for their own self-care list, see who’s already been tagged, and maybe we can track how far this meme goes.
• List 25 needs and five wants. Try to restrict your needs list to things that have to do with being a survivor of some sort of abuse, assault, etc. Your wants list can be anything…you want!
• Use this list to remind yourself to get your needs met this holiday season and in the New Year.
• Pass on the meme and tag five people to play the meme with you.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I invite anyone who’d like to do this to go right ahead.

I need…

1. Respect for my inherent worth
2. Sensual excitement
3. Cuddling & other communicative touching
4. Passion for my job
5. Sympathetic friends
6. Beauty
7. Emotional release
8. Orgasms, general sexual pleasure
9. General sensual pleasure (from eating good food, listening to good music, etc.)
10. To have supportive, trusting relationships
11. To be part of a supportive community
12. To laugh & have a sense of humor
13. To give advice
14. To be given advice
15. To listen to/read the experiences of others and learn from them
16. To have strong women to look up to
17. To express myself without censorship but with wisdom
18. To be intimate with a woman
19. To workout, stretch and generally keep my body in shape
20. To eat well and joyfully
21. To honor the Earth
22. To honor the Divine
23. To be taken seriously
24. To be taken with a grain of salt
25. To be admired

I want…

1. To travel internationally
2. To learn French
3. To practice on my bass more often
4. To learn how to cast Runes
5. To learn Palmistry

New Year’s Tarot Reading from Tarot.com

Your Question: what do I need to know in order to create community this year?

Your Interpretations

Self: Queen of Hearts © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING You are called upon to be a loving master of emotional integrity. The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. The Queen of Cups is the archetype of loving kindness, someone imbued with a strong concern for the well being of others. This is a good thing to develop and practice. At the same time, make sure you don’t get carried away and lose track of what is healthy and sensible for yourself. Like a mother, the Queen of Cups is accepting and nurturing, with a natural capacity for bonding. The vulnerability of openness and empathy are important qualities sorely lacking in today’s world. Learn to develop these capacities in yourself, but avoid codependency. Love is ultimately about dissolving boundaries, but not at your personal expense. Feelings of emptiness will do you no good. Know your boundaries and make sure you are not being taken advantage of or relied upon too heavily. Express loving kindness, but don’t let an intense concern for the welfare of others compromise your own well being. Situation: Ace of Swords © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Your unique comprehension of the situation can help clear up confusion that could otherwise jeopardize progress. The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time. With the Ace of Swords in this position, circumstances indicate that the path to your destination twists and turns in a bewildering way. Your insight, however, can penetrate and make sense of the confusion. You possess an outlook or vision that can harmonize with whatever competing interests and needs present themselves. Ultimately, it is up to you to reveal the big picture, point out the middle path, and reconcile the polarities. You are aware of what the next step is. Continue to focus on it solely without letting yourself or others be distracted. Challenges/ Opportunities: Prince of Hearts © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Your hard-won wisdom can help protect others from their inexperience or foolishness. Be generous with it. The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones. With the Knight of Cups (in some decks, a Prince) in this position, distill the essence of what you have learned on your journey, in order to let your wisdom inform the dreams and aspirations of others. Not everyone is able to go through the kind of awesome transformations you have. But you can wring the essence of your experience, and the feelings and insights that came with it, into the grail cup, and share this elixir of knowledge. This multiplies the benefits of your quest, and vindicates the difficulty of your labors, by uplifting everyone. In this way you can also relieve some of the loneliness you suffered while undergoing your trials. Foundation: Four of Pentacles © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Take stock of your many blessings and honor your powerful roots. The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background. The Four of Coins in this position suggests you are blessed with substantial gift assets of one kind or another. Some families are culturally rich; some are spiritually rich, while others have financial wealth. All of these can be blessings. Take stock of your personal inheritance, and honor your roots. Be grateful for, and take advantage of, the natural resources passed down to you in this lifetime. In the English-school decks, we see the image of a person who is stuck in his or her misunderstanding of how the material plane works. He’s afraid to let go of his four measly coins, because he doesn’t know he has to give in order to get. When looked at this way, this is the card of “poverty consciousness.” Recent Past: Two of Swords © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING When you give up thinking yours is the only reality, you can recognize and respect diversity of thought and experience. The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power. When the Two of Swords is in this position, a rude awakening in a relationship or situation shook your assumption that everyone understood circumstances clearly. You thought you knew what to expect of others and what they were expecting of you. It is a shock to discover that a past agreement had distinctly different meanings for you and another party. Don’t assume that you have been set up or deceived, however. Use the situation as an opportunity to recognize the differences in peoples’ experience of reality, their priorities and their points of view. Rather than leap into blaming others for what are essentially differences of perception, you can begin to appreciate the rich diversity of this world and the importance of making clear understandings and agreements. Laxity in communication due to assumptions all too often results in arguments over differences instead of leading to celebrations over shared endeavors. Higher Power: Seven of Hearts © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING There are good choices and then there is a best choice. Which will your conscience lead you to? The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom. When the Seven of Cups comes up in this position, you have a spread of options that are testing you. Can you really choose the best for all concerned, or are you going to fall back on short-term gratification? Be assured there is no wrong choice, but there is a spectrum of better and better choices that culminates in the very best choice. Your Higher Power would like to see if you have learned enough in your spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth to be able to freely make the best choice without coercion, based on what your heart knows to be true. There is no way to fail this test, but there are ways to pass it with flying colors. Follow your conscience and, relatively speaking, you can do no wrong. Near Future: Five of Hearts © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Situations change and setbacks occur. While you accept that as the nature of the game, it doesn’t mean the outcome will be unsatisfactory. The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies. With the Five of Cups in this position, you are called upon to temper inflated expectations. Whatever motivated you in the past no longer applies, because it’s now apparent the situation is not going to turn out as you had wished. That doesn’t mean it’s destined to turn out badly. Reality takes a bite out of every dream. It’s a natural adjustment to any ideal or vision. Occasionally we have to accept a humbling development. Although you have some disappointment to work through, don’t let it undermine your enthusiasm. You have not done the wrong thing, walked the wrong path or followed the wrong guidance. A zigzag path is just the nature of the path. You win some, you lose some. Don’t let setbacks take you out of the game. Blocks & Inhibitions: The Fool © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING You are too attached to a need for self-control. The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck — unless you examine yourself and make some corrections. When the Fool comes up in this position, lack of trust in your authentic, original nature causes you to resist spontaneity and freedom. Without trust in your essential nature, you can’t afford to move in any direction, take any steps, make any decisions. Without trust, you are riddled with fears and insecurities. Don’t inhibit yourself by the fear of what might go wrong. Determine what you would like and how to get it to happen. Look at your current situation as an opening rather than a trial. It’s a chance to go where you have never been before and experience new dimensions. Allies: The Lovers © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING If you give too much time to confusion, you will lose your primary ally. The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time. The Lovers in this position suggests that you are receiving more than one attractive invitation. In this case, if you promise yourself to one, you’ll have to forego the other. This principle applies in romance, business or any other alliance. Sometimes we need to focus our attention on the highest priority, putting second and third considerations aside. Perhaps you are being distracted from a pivotal, important relationship by a possibility, promise or hope. Choose what is real over what is just a possibility. Work to raise what is real up to the level of the ideal, rather than just wildly grasping at the ideal. Your true ally is waiting for you to get over your flirtation with an attractive bit player. Advice: Prince of Swords © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Refine your communication and negotiation skills so you are at peak effectiveness. The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible. The Knight of Swords in this position advises you to remain open to conflicting ideas instead of surrounding yourself exclusively with people who agree with you. This knight is most effective when testing his ideas in a debate. Emulate his ability to communicate successfully by keeping your conversations impersonal and humorous so no hurt feelings are provoked. Practice your negotiation skills so you will be in shape for imminent diplomatic challenges as they arise. A sparring partner could help you learn to control impulsive comments and stem your urge to be right at the expense of others being wrong. Long-term Potential: Queen of Wands © Tarot.com POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Your energetic personality and achievements promise you a brilliant future. The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the “wild card” yet to be played. The Queen of Wands in this position suggests bright prospects. Your record of achievements is enough to advance you beyond your peers, inevitably attracting the attention of your superiors. This can be both a blessing and a challenge — because it is as easy for a person to feel threatened by your considerable competence as it is for them to admire you. But love you or hate you, they need someone like you. Your style of practical hands-on leadership is essential to the success of any project.

© Amy Zerner & Monte Farber

This reading is based on the work of Tarot Expert Christine Payne-Towler and Tarot.com ©1998 – 2007. All rights reserved.