He Healed Me with Love

I wrote recently about the problems I have with menstrual pain, and today I have good news on that front!

I read that all pain teaches us something and if we ask it, we’ll find out what. I’ve done that with my menstrual pain several times with varying responses. Once, the answer was that I hadn’t let myself feel pain when I had been raped, so I had to let my body feel it them. Another time, the answer was that I needed to love myself even when I felt unlovely and unloveable. But this time, I asked and all I got was the beginning of the explanation about the menstrual cycle, so I stopped listening. I’d never have that happen before. What was I supposed to do?

Now, you have to understand that my thoughts during this time are always distracted by a virtual belt of cramping all across & around my lower belly and back that kind of fades into my ass in such a way that it feels as if there are splintered shards of glass working their way through my posterior muscles. And I generally have a full-on back ache that doesn’t get much attention since everything else hurts so much more. It’s a really horrible experience that even pain killers don’t help with.

Something else I need to mention is that a few days before I started my period and every day since that day, I had a vision of myself as I was during part of my first miscarriage, years ago now. I’m curled up in the fetal position in bed with towels of blood soaking around me, soaking the mattress beneath. I was utterly abandoned by all friends and family at this time — even my (then) fiance. I knew that the feelings evoked by this memory were the ones my body was choosing to work through for this period, but I couldn’t rationalize that with what my body was telling me when I asked it to explain the pain.

So I did all I could do in the situation: I complained.  I told my partner I was in a lot of pain and how I wished I still had a heating pad because that used to be the one thing that made me feel a little better.  Five minutes later, he came in with the enema bag we bought and have yet to used filled up with piping hot water and presented me with the hot water bottled he’d made for me.

I accepted it with joy and disbelief because he is so amazing that I can’t believe just how much more perfect he becomes for me every day.  Placing the water bottled on my belly immediately had an effect and after 20 minutes, the pain had subsided completely.

And my higher self asked me: What were you supposed to learn from this?  I answered: That it’s okay to ask for and receive help when you need it.  And my higher self nodded, patted me on the head and told me that my partner had healed me in a way I couldn’t heal myself, because it could only be healed by the love and support of someone who truly cared for me.

Which he does and it heals me.  I am so blessed.