A Baby’s Soul

I had a miscarriage about 3 and a half years ago now and it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever been through.  My husband and I didn’t want to be pregnant and it was the beginning of the end of our relationship in many ways.  I’ve felt as guilty about that as I imagine women who have abortions feel, so Erin Pavlina’s blog about the spiritual ramifications of abortion really caught my eye.  In the post, she addresses spirituality and miscarriage, giving me some peace about some things I’ve been hurting about:

“Miscarriage is not an abortion, as I’m sure everyone knows, but I want to mention that when a miscarriage happens it is often the conscious choice of the baby’s soul who may decide for a wide variety of reasons not to incarnate.  Perhaps its parents’ life circumstances have changed and it can see it won’t be in the same position it expected to be in when it incarnates.  Or perhaps conditions elsewhere in the baby’s maze have changed (for example, a key player in their future dies unexpectedly) and the baby decides the time is not right for it to incarnate.  Sometimes the mother or father’s higher self determines that having a baby at that time would not be right and arranges with the baby’s soul to step out of the incarnation process and seek other parents or wait until the timing is better.  But don’t fret when you have a miscarriage.  The baby’s soul is still very much intact and safe.”

 Since my recent decision to have kids soon(ish), it’s doubly valuable for me to feel better about my previous pregnancy.  I find it highly significant that I miscarried twins and that I plan to have two kids now.  I’d like to think that they just were waiting until I was ready and that I didn’t irrevocably break something precious.